Abi and The Last Synchroblog....

This post is part of the Final Synchroblog.  I have not always participated, but it has been a blessing to do so when able. The October 21, 2015 Synchroblog invites bloggers to imagine what they would say if they were writing their last blog post. 

Update:  10/21/15 ... the first release of links for other participants is found at the bottom of this post.  I have a feeling there will be more trickling in, so stay tuned!

* * * * * * *

As I am writing this post on October 19th, this will also function as the marker of my eighth blogiversary.  My very first post was on October 19, 2007.  It has been an interesting eight years....

If this were to be my last blog post, I would say that I am just beginning to understand the depths of The Purple Martyrdom.  I have written 81 different posts with this label, which makes it only second to cHesed, which has 134...or 148 if I include Perichoretic cHesed posts.

What I have learned over these past eight years of processing so much purple is that pain and suffering are all wrapped up in the mystery of life.  

Peck says that the Four Tools of Discipline are techniques of suffering. If we do not learn how to experience legitimate suffering, then we stop growing or get stuck. It is the only way forward to solving life's problems -- large or small -- and growing to be who we are truly meant to be. 

The way to growth and maturity, then, passes through pain and suffering.

• Pregnancy and childbirth are full of pain...stretching, making room for a growing life triggers other mechanisms and push and shove mothers around for nine months. For those who suffer with severe morning sickness, they wonder how they stay alive and how the baby gets any nourishment.  It also permanently changes the mother's body in the process.  There is no going back, there is only establishing a new normal.
• Those babies get squeezed pretty hard during the delivery process. But I learned how important that is when our third son was delivered too quickly for all the fluid to get squeezed out of his lungs.
• Humans gain knowledge first through experimentation, and pain is an important teacher. We learn that there are a variety of kinds of pain...and we learn to bear some kinds of pain in order to get what we want.
• Pain and suffering teach us things about ourselves and those around us. They help us develop empathy when we see others suffer in ways we have suffered. They help us develop trust in those who help us bear up under trials. They help us develop a sense of generosity and sharing for those whose suffering is greater than our own at that particular moment.
• Pain and suffering are experiences of the body, mind and spirit -- because each of those areas grow...and growth is painful and must be suffered through.
• Pain and suffering are the great equalizers.  Everyone experiences them. There are no exceptions. Not even God.

But God, whose suffering began and has endured since They chose to create, teaches us how to have compassion: to suffer with another.  

Father suffers with us in our trials, even as parents suffer watching their children suffer the pain of exploration and growth and failure and perseverance to reach mastery. He knows, as we parents do, that to intervene is to abort the learning. We set our boundaries at significant injury...but our Father is not limited to fostering growth in this life. And so there are times -- too many, it seems to us -- when He allows death to teach us difficult but important lessons.

• Lessons of love and grace and mercy for those who suffer and for those who cannot stop the suffering of others.
• Lessons of faith and trust in the Ones who know fully rather than we who peer through a glass darkly.
• Lessons of justice and restoration and reconciliation and forgiveness that call us to step out past the pain and see a much bigger picture of our interconnectedness.

Jesus suffers with us because He has suffered and been tempted in all ways that humans experience...with one big difference.  He chose to suffer out of love for us. And He sits and suffers with each of us all day, every day...even as we are blind to our own suffering.  He calls for us to lean into His arms and know that we are fully loved -- even when we don't know what that means, exactly.  He calls us to love one another as He has loved us, to live in His love even as He lives in the Father's love. He bids us transcend our pain and suffering, taking up our cross and following Him. A yoke that is easy and a burden that is light.  Not because it is not difficult, but because He bears the burden with us.

The Holy Spirit -- who I call Grand Mother -- suffers with us in the being and knowing of who we really are and, more importantly, who we are becoming...according to our willingness to let Her guide and instruct us. To make disciples of our hearts and minds as She bids us let go of the lies we have believed about ourselves (and God!). Grand Mother calls us to be who we have been created to be...and She suffers when we cannot see ourselves -- and others -- with Their eyes.

To be is to suffer.

To suffer is to be called to grown and learn.

To suffer is to be called to bear one another's burdens.

To suffer is to be called to humbly give and receive help to and from one another.

To suffer is to be called to realize that we cannot know all the whys and hows.

To suffer is to be called to trust that God is actively at work, bringing good out of evil. The evil somehow must be suffered through...as we learn and grow and share and care for each other and this precious Creation in which we live.

Everyone is suffering, to some degree, pretty much all the time.  Even if there is an obvious source of pain, there will be other suffering that is not visible to our eyes. To try to measure whose suffering is worse than another's suffering is not a helpful exercise. Rather, choose to love and give the benefit of the doubt. See with the eyes of your heart...the one that is full of wounds than nobody else sees unless we choose vulnerability and transparency.

Pain and suffering is more than I can really wrap my brain around. But it helps me to know Those who see it all and know it all and have the whole mess under control as we muddle our way through the blood, sweat and tears...our own and one another's.

But every once in a while, I get a wee glimpse of what God is on about. The techniques of suffering may be the tools of discipline, but the will to consistently use those tools is what Peck calls love ... and I call cHesed: purposeful favor (grace) perpetually initiated (mercy) with deliberate affection (love).  

To the degree we trust God's cHesed for US, we will be able to endure the pain and suffering required to grow and help others grow.

If I don't ever write another post, this last one would see me through. Because this wee reality of ours cannot compare to the Reality in which Father, Son and Spirit dwell in Perichoretic cHesed -- the Great Dance into which Jesus bids us enter. Already we are to live in this Reality, even as it is not yet fully realized.  The paradox of the now/not yet is painful.

We suffer for a short while...but God is making all things new, in Their time, and I hear that it will make everything we have suffered worth it.  

I don't know how.  

It's a mystery.

Be blessed....

Abi

* * * * * * *

Thanks to all the bloggers who participated this month. We hope you enjoy reading their posts!

K.W. Leslie – Synchrobloggery

Glenn Hager – Parting Shot

Clara Mbamalu – What is love?

Carol Kuniholm – A Final Synchroblog

Leah Sophia – Synchroblog: Creation One More Time

Jeremy Myers – If this were my only blog post, I would invite you to do one thing

J. A. Carter – Last Words

Tony Ijeh – Sharing Jesus

Liz Dyer – Last words about love

Abi's "One Sentence Summary"

I am always fascinated by the pathways the Spirit leads me down!  Today's led me to the blog of Andrew Perriman, to whom I was introduced during the work of producing Wikiklesia, Volume One: Voices of the Virtual World.

Anyway, I found my way to this post, which I found interesting. The challenge was to capture the message of the Bible in one sentence. So I decided to make a wee attempt [after two years of processing, Baxter!], which ended up in their spam filter...but I copied it so I could paste it here:

Hello, Andrew! Very late to the convo, but here's my wee attempt:

From Eternity, God has dwelt as Father, Son and Spirit in 3-in-1 Perichoretic cHesed, and chose to create in order to include Their Imago Dei, male and female, in Their relationship, though the "already/not yet" process was long, counter-intuitive, difficult, subversive and traumatic, as well as intimate, gracious, merciful, loving and joyous; and it would, from Eternity, require the Incarnation of the Son as Jesus the Christ--fully God and fully Human--to "finish/begin" the recreation/adoption/inclusion process via his birth, life, ministry, death, burial, resurrection, ascension and sending of the Spirit as indwelling guide and advocate for the new brothers and sisters until Chronos ceases and Kairos is our Now/Forever reality.

From an older, white, post-evangelical, Trinitarian, American "virtual abbess"...taking a page from the Apostle Paul's "run-on-sentence" playbook.  ;^)

The first time it was blocked, it erased my "sentence" ... and I was appalled because it felt like one of those times when what I wrote could not be repeated.  But then I felt like, if this was something that was really jelled in my heart, I could repeat it.  So I did...and that is what I pasted above.  And it is close...but, I think, even better than the first attempt.  So, thanks, Spam Blocker, for the help!  ;^)

Feel free to take the challenge yourself. You can go and read all the attempts at Andrew's blog first, if you want. Or you can just jump in without being influenced (other than my wee attempt above). You can put your attempt in my comments section...I will check the Spam file and rescue you if you end up there.  :^)

This was a fine exercise for this crisp, cold and blue sky day! 

Hallelujah!

Be blessed....

Abi
 

Abi and June's Synchroblog -- From Peggy...To Peggy

Update:  The Synchroblog Links are up and added at the end!

* * * * * * * *

This post is part of June's Synchroblog, where we were invited to travel back in time to the “You” of 10 or 20 years ago and tell yourself something you know now but wish you had known then

This is not as easy as one might think...given the Temporal Prime Directive, and all.  My post title is a reference to one of my favorite Star Trek: Voyager episodes.  The important line of advice from Captain Janeway to Harry Kim is:  "Well, if you won't take it from me, take it from you."

Temporal paradoxes are very complicated and trying to understand them will burn your brain up in a hurry...and if I was, in fact, able to go back in time and tell myself something very important...it would, undoubtedly change my timeline today.  That's the point, right?

There are so many things I have learned in the past four, er, eight years that I wish I had known 10 or 20 years ago. But calculating the when of this endeavor is of paramount importance. It can be any time after Memorial Day of 2000. So, I'm going back just over 14 years ago.

Why then?

Because if I change anything between October of 1992 and April of 2000, I risk the loss of the three most precious gifts God gave this earth through me:  my three sons.  (Cue 1960s music....)

And that is something that simply must not happen.

But there is a day that sometimes messes with me...still.  And if I could go back and change one thing that day, everything would change for me and my family...and it would perhaps mean that all traces of AbiSomeone, Virtual Abbess of the Purple Martyrdom, would disappear from the Internet.

Such are the risks one takes when playing with time.

* * * * * * *

"Robert, could we turn right and take the scenic drive home, please? It is so beautiful with all the spring flowers blooming and the water in the creek is running so high and fast -- there is that little waterfall that should be just awesome.  Please?"

* * * * * * *

On the 3rd of June, 2000, we were celebrating our oldest son's 5th birthday (a few weeks late) at our local Denny's. As we pulled out of the restaurant's driveway, I simply suggested that we turn right. I didn't say why. Maybe Robert didn't hear me...maybe he had other plans for the drive home...in any case, he turned left and we ended up at the front of the left turn lane, just as the light turned green.

Just then, as we accelerated, we heard the sound of a siren coming toward our intersection.  Robert stopped to ensure that the way was clear. The young man in the big pickup behind us didn't hear or see what was happening, and slammed right into us...our Mazda 929's bumper a good 8 inches lower than his steel bumper, which went straight into our trunk.

Right then all our lives changed.

My 5 year old and 17 month old sons, seemingly secure in their car seats, both suffered concussions as their heads were slammed back. Neurological damage is slow to manifest and even slower to resolve. I can't even talk about it...my heart is breaking all over again.

I knew I was pregnant -- just two weeks! Somehow I was turned toward the boys in the back seat, which is how I saw their heads bounce off the backs of their car seats. I sustained twisting injuries of my cervical spine/neck muscles and ligaments as well as of my L5/S1 vertebrae in my low back.

...and with a little over eight months more of ligament relaxing hormones pumping into my 44 year old, ever-changing, body mechanics, the prognosis for full restoration was not very hopeful.

That day my babies lost a mostly functional mommy and had to learn to make do with a very broken-down, purple one. This is not something that they have understood very well...especially the two little ones, who never really knew me "before"...but that is another story for another time, perhaps.

In particularly melancholic moments, I wonder if I would have even had the rest of my slew of injuries in the ensuing years...compounding, as it seems, from that first, catastrophic, injury.

"What if?" is a place where I have spent a lot of energy, these past 14 years.  It is not a good place to be -- because there is no time travel. And even if I had a Time Turner, I couldn't safely go back more than five hours. And the Omega 13 Device could only go back 13 seconds. Way too late for fixing....

* * * * * * *

Nope, I can't go back. I must live fully in the present, forgiving the past as the best we knew how to do at the time. I must embrace the severe mercy of my beloved Triune God, whose merciful and loving grace faithfully works in and through all of our pain and suffering to bring into being amazing goodness that would not otherwise exist.

Suffering is part of the hard work of learning patience and compassion.  For myself...for others...for all of Creation.

Living in the past or living in the future are time wasters for me.  I need YHWH, the Present Presence, to keep me in the here and now...walking baby steps with Jesus in the midst of the darkness and nightmares.  We will get through to the light of morning.

I keep waking up every day.

We do not have the opportunity to deal with temporal paradoxes, but Perichoretic cHesed Paradoxes are all over the place for this wee, purple, forward-looking, Papa-trusting, Jesus-following, Sarayu-transformed abbess.

In due time God will restore what the locust has eaten.

But that will not be my doing -- I cannot fix any of that.  There is no magic wand...there is only embracing pain as the way of human learning.  I must walk in faith into what I am learning about who God is and who I am and what it is that I am to be doing:  receiving God's merciful loving kindness and returning it by sharing it with those God puts in my path.

...I'm happy not to lose all of my virtual fellow journey mates.... ;^)

Be blessed...and do read the rest of the bloggers, when the links are up!

Abi

* * * * * * *

Here's the blog links!

• Justin Steckbauer – What Do You Wish You Knew 10 or 20 years ago?
• Michael Donahoe – What I Wish I had Known
• Mary – What I Wish I Would Have Known as a Newlywed
• Heather Wheat – As a Young Mother, I Wish I Had Known…
• Michelle – Ten Years of Wisdom
• Michelle – Twenty Years of Wisdom
• Wesley Rostoll – If I Could Speak to a Younger Version of Me
• Peggy – From Peggy … To Peggy
• Glenn Hager – The Reluctant Time Lord
• Carol Kuniholm – Life Lessons from Lydia
• Edwin Adrich – A Note to My Younger Self
• Paul Metler – A Note to my 20 Year Ago Self
• Liz Dyer – Dear Me
• Kathy Escobar – Never Say Never
• Jeremy Myers – A Letter to the “Me” of 15 Years Ago
• Kimberly Klein – Be Free, Be You
• Loveday Anyim – Hot Romance with the Dreams of the Sparkling Old Times
• Susan Cottrell - Be Kind To Yourself

Abi ponders privilege and purpose....

There has been something that keeps coming back to me these past few months, as I have been pondering patriarchy and the purpose of God.  It is something that one of my college professors, Dr. Knofel Staton, used to just hammer into us:  Privilege is given for a purpose.  If the purpose is abandoned, the privilege is no longer valid.

God called Abram to be the Father of the Hebrew people.  Not because Abram was exceptional, but because God was faithful. The Hebrew people were set apart as God's chosen people.  Not because they were exceptional, but because God was faithful. God was, as Baxter Kruger so frequently says, preparing the Womb of the Incarnation.

Abram, when his name was changed to Abraham, became the first of the great patriarchs:  Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. Each of these men were deeply flawed in character, but God was faithful.  They were given privilege in order for the purposes of God to be accomplished.  When they held to the privilege and lost sight of the purpose, things did not go well.

In those times we saw the cHesed of God move to prevent disaster in what we call wrath. Wrath, since it is an aspect of cHesed (love, grace, mercy), does not strike without warning.  Those on whom wrath is visited usually know they have strayed.  (I think Job may be one exception.)

The patriarchs and the prophets and the priests and the kings of the Hebrew people frequently had problems keeping their privilege aligned with the purpose of YHWH. They too often became enamored of the glory and honor that accompanied the privilege...and not only forgot the purpose, but frequently they abused their privileged positions.

When the fullness of time had come, and the Womb of the Incarnation was fully prepared, Jesus took up human flesh in order to dwell among humans and bring about their Adoption--which, by the way, has always been the purpose.

Jesus--by his words and deeds--gave notice to the patriarchs and prophets and priests and kings that their time of privilege was coming to an end. The Holy Spirit was about to be poured out upon all flesh, and Father, Son and Spirit would dwell within each of us.  We would become a Royal Priesthood for King Jesus and God would hold the title of Father in the Kingdom of God.

Throughout history there have been those who continue to grasp tightly to the privileged positions which Jesus set aside. Clearly they had not understood...they did not wish to understand...they were unable to understand.  The mind that is not renewed by the power of the Holy Spirit remains darkened and confused. And so history is cluttered with those who would claim privileged positions given by God...but who used their privilege for their own, or others, purposes and call them God's purpose.  Multitudes of the abused cry out against their abuses.

Surely, I do not need to list out the abuses of the Popes, bishops, priests, kings, nobles, officers, leaders...those who used their privilege to deprive others of their privilege as Children of God and Joint Heirs with Jesus.

I mourn the millennia of abused and confused privilege...and rejoice where it has been rectified by the work of the Holy Spirit.  There is, unfortunately, much work yet to be done.

Happily, the Word of the Lord does not return void.  This victory is already won...but it has not yet been fully realized.

May we each, in our own way, be beacons of the Kingdom...where all are brothers and sisters in Christ and only Jesus is Lord and God is Father...where the purpose of reconciliation and restoration can only be delayed but not thwarted.

We walk in suffering solidarity on this journey with those oppressed by the hand of men who hold to a privilege that has been rescinded because its purpose has already been accomplished.  May they see that there is a new task set before us by the Master....

Patience is a difficult discipline, but our God is full of love and grace and mercy for us as They walk the path with us.

Be blessed...

Abi and the Fabric of Accommodation

Inspired by Kate’s post at The Junia Project and a brilliant spin off post on how racism and patriarchy are cut from the same cloth….

* * * * * * *

Back in the spring of 1997, I watched a riveting speaker rebuke the folks at TBN – from TBN’s stage.  I don’t remember his name or the response, but I’ll never forget what he said.  The bottom line of his rebuke that spring afternoon was:  Do not confuse the apparent blessing of God with a stamp of approval on your methods.  Wow.  So much of what is wrong with the world can be attributed to this issue….

I think that this rebuke rightly joins with another important concept I learned while a student at PCC (now HIU):  frozen accommodations.  The late Dr. Mont Smith coined this wonderful phrase in his important book, What the Bible Says About Covenant (College Press, 1981, pp. 370-371; unfortunately out of print), as part of a larger discussion on the Doctrine of Implied Power. He begins this section with:  “Inherent in the doctrine of implied power was the danger of holding a group at a point of accommodation after the social situation changed.” Then he gets to this:  “What the Apostles would have insisted upon was a return to the standard of full Christlike service for all and to all, as soon as possible.”

The problem has always come when that which was meant as a temporary accommodation becomes frozen in time and custom and culture.  Then it is no longer seen as an accommodation to human weakness; it becomes “the will of God,” complete with out-of-context proof-texting.

God always stoops to accommodate our immaturity, because They love us and are always looking out for our best interest.  They are not willing that we should perish.  When there is an issue we have problems with, rather than just blowing us away, God woos us bit by bit…beginning right where we are and slowly nudging us in the proper direction.

The Apostles, as they helped the young churches live out the mind-blowing freedom Jesus brought, had to continue God’s use of temporary accommodations to the weakness and hard-heartedness of men during the process of growing up in the kingdom family of God.

In their writings we see more of the same problems with the fluid nature of growth being frozen into structures of power and domination, rather than freedom in Christ by the Spirit.

So how do things become frozen?  I think it stems from what M. Scott Peck, M.D., thought about original sin.  Peck came to see original sin as laziness:  “attempting to avoid necessary suffering, or taking the easy way out.”  Laziness is the anti-cHesed.  

(Terminology break:  cHesed is a Hebrew concept usually translated something like gracious loving-kindness -- I believe it is the concept used to describe the primary nature of God as Love -- it describes the activity of faithful covenant keeping. I join it with the Greek concept of perichoresis, which describes the Life of the Trinity: mutual interpenetration without loss of distinctiveness.  The result:  Perichoretic cHesed.)

And so the Fabric of Accommodation is woven with threads of laziness … because growth is hard work.  Life is difficult, and learning to think clearly – not simplistically – is the weak link in all humans. Paul tells us that this can only be done by the continual renewing of our minds by the Spirit. We must learn to think with the Mind of Christ!

The drive for independence actually leads to a worse kind of dependence.  Rejecting dependence on God as faithful covenant partner, the human drive for independence (at the Fall and since) was a rejection of the necessary suffering required for growth and interdependence and cHesed: mutually seeking the best interest of the covenant partners.

The cross Christ has asked us to take up daily is the dance of Perichoretic cHesed:  to both receive and give love that submits, grace that serves, and mercy that initiates and leads. To allow ourselves to be drawn into the Eternal Perichoretic cHesed in order to share it. This is a profound paradox -- his yoke is easy and his burden is light....

• Patriarchy as a system of social order was allowed as an accommodation by God to the social order of humanity in its infancy. There are many examples of how God rejected patriarchy when new lessons were being taught.  (Think about what Jesus meant when he said that the Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath.)

• The subjugation of women (and children and slaves and other members of the family/tribe) is a foundational principle of patriarchy. As a consequence of the Fall, God foresaw that women would desire their men (even with increased pain in childbirth) as protectors and providers (a mere shadow of their originally intended dynamic partnership), and that their men would use their power to rule over them. To state that this has always been the intention of God in the creation of humanity is a bizarre kind of blindness.

• Polygamy, as a sub-system of patriarchy, was also accommodated and used by God to educate humanity and provide justice for those involved – as a part of experiencing kingdom life that was already, but not yet fully, being realized. From creation God intended that marriage would be a permanent bonding between one man and one woman for the purpose of experiencing a foreshadowing of the blessing of the Perichoretic cHesed of the Eternal Triune God – including being sub-creators under God (HT J.R.R. Tolkien) and procreators.

• Divorce, then, is abhorred by God – but is yet another accommodation to the hard-heartedness of men. It was provided as a protection of the wives (and children) from abuse and abandonment. It shows the immaturity of those who are not willing or ready to do the hard work required for intimate relationship and community to flourish as Perichoretic cHesed.

• Slavery was a reality in every ancient human society. God tolerated slavery as an accommodation to human social and economic circumstances. However, he fostered maturity in humanity when he gave slaves a frequent place in Their kingdom work – offering protection, respect, and ultimately hope for freedom as well as adoption in the redemptive work of Jesus!

• Racism is a subset of slavery in that those races that were victorious in battle took slaves both as a way to humiliate the defeated (put them in their place, as it were) as well as to provide laborers. The history of slavery in America is full of talk about slaves not being fully human. Makes me ill to even think about it, especially having recently read the original manuscript of 12 Years A Slave….

• Monarchy in Israel was an accommodation by God to the weakness of humanity, who wanted a human king – even knowing that a king would tax and dominate them – rather than accept God as king.  "Lording it over" others is NOT the plan of God, as Jesus clearly taught.

All these are forms of accommodation God made to the hardness of men’s hearts.  Each of them represents a rejection of the will of God that They were willing to accommodate in order to lead humanity home.

But in the fullness of time, God came in the flesh as Jesus – God With Us – and set the record straight for those with eyes to see and ears to hear.

In the section on Increasing Interpersonal Competence, Chris Argyris developed and articulated his Immaturity-Maturity continuum as a way to show how institutions always tend to foster immaturity because they value order, efficiency and conformity over creativity, effectiveness and diversity.  (Management of Organizational Behavior, Sixth Edition, Paul Hersey and Kenneth H. Blanchard, Prentice Hall, 1993, pp. 64-69)

I believe the theory known as Situational Leadership, developed by Hersey and Blanchard (Management of Organizational Behavior, Sixth Edition, Paul Hersey and Kenneth H. Blanchard, Prentice Hall, 1993, pp. 183-219), is so powerful and true because it is a representation of God’s leadership style as They exist as Three who mutually submit, serve and lead together as they live out their Oneness as Perichoretic cHesed.

As They work to help humanity see the reality of our inclusion via adoption in the New Covenant in Jesus, They submit and serve and lead us for our best interest.  Their actions are always about growth and freedom and participation in the Great Dance of Perichoretic cHesed (which I call the perfect relational pH).

Leaders with the proper pH lead according to the readiness level of the follower, not according to their preferred leadership style.  Hersey and Blanchard identify four paired styles of leading and following, and humans need to recognize themselves in each style. The challenge is that our leader or follower style will be different depending on the situation.  We can’t just turn on auto pilot – we have to think clearly in order to discern the proper style. Here is a quick summary and a handy chart.

Pen Wilcock’s fabulous Lent book calls the name of God – I AM THAT I AM – Present Presence. I think that’s just right. Our Eternal Triune God lives in Kairos time…it is always NOW. Their presence is always present – we are never alone! Perichoretic cHesed is a dance of expectant responsiveness.

Jesus said that his yoke is easy and his burden is light.  Jesus shares the cross/yoke that is the perfect pH for us to bear: he stoops in cHesed to bind himself to us, so that we may walk out that cHesed together as we do God’s will.

* * * * * * *

Well...my firstborn is on his way home from college for spring break.  Woo hoo! 

May you be swept up into the Great Dance, beloved....

Abi

Advent with Abi -- Joy as Wholehearted Response

The third week of Advent begins ... and I'm working through Baxter Kruger's books again, now that I have finished listening to so many hours of his lectures.  Reading the books, I hear him and his wonderful Mississippi accent in my head....  :^)

During the time I've been reading and listening to and meeting Baxter this past year, I've also been watching and listening to Brene Brown talk about courage and vulnerability and wholeheartedness. Their messages have arrived at just the right time -- kairos time -- when I was both in need of the message and able to hear and receive the message. What a blessing....

I was struck this morning as I was reading ... struck at how much power we give to the lies that are whispered around and about us ... rather than believing Jesus and his Father and the Holy Spirit. The darkness of our fallen minds, Baxter says, makes sense to us.  The amazing perichoretic cHesed of the blessed Trinity -- well, it doesn't make sense to us at all.  Not unless we repent of our fallen and darkened wrongheadedness!  Lord, have mercy!

At this third week of Advent -- as the darkness is starting to lift because of the approaching birth of the Light of the World -- I found a small trickle of joy welling up in my soul. As I have walked along with Jesus, choosing to side with him against the lies of "I am not", I have a new kind of courage growing.  The courage to tell the story of who I am with my whole heart. (Thank you, Brene, for these words!)  And I find that the telling of this story an act of joy.

Joy is the fruit of courage, it seems.  We know that it is a fruit of the Spirit, too...but I find the telling of the story of who I really am with my whole heart cannot be told without joy.  I think this is because those willing to risk sharing their whole heart -- not just the good stuff and not just the bad stuff, but the good and bad stuff along with the hard but important stuff makes up the whole.  And Father, Son and Spirit love the whole me...not just the nice shiny parts....

C.S. Lewis wrote a book called Surprised by Joy ... and I am beginning to understand that a bit better today.

This week, as you ponder the Joy of Jesus -- Father's Eternal Son Incarnate -- may you find that his joy is your joy, too.  That his truth is your truth. That his peace is your peace. That his courage is your courage. That his faith is your faith.  Because everything that he shares with the Father in the Spirit is yours -- if you will radically reorient your mind and believe that what Jesus has said and done is actually, finally, totally, joyously TRUE.

Joy to the world!  The Lord has come.  Let earth receive her King!

Be blessed....

Abi

Advent with Abi -- Hopeful Expectancy

Hopeful Expectancy.

Powerful bloggers are proficient at the use of hyperlinks. It comes from an aversion to saying what has already been said. I get it. I've done it.

I've blogged on the important difference between expectation and expectancy.  I could link to it. Or you could search my blog, if you wanted to know what I've said about it.

But what I think has changed so much these past seven years -- and this past year, especially -- that I don't necessarily want to point backward.

Expectancy is the reality of living in Kairos time -- the Eternal Now.

If you are a planner, this can be the ultimate frustration.  Because waiting is getting harder and harder in our times.  Our Chronos time ... that we track with watches and calendars and the time it takes for our browser to load the page we want to read ... is a brutal task master.  We are never at rest because we are always looking to our next whatever.

We have forgotten how to be present in the moment.  We have slipped from expectancy to expectation. From life to death. Do you feel the death grip of expectation on someone you love -- or yourself -- choking the life out of your moments day by day?  Can those expectations really be that important?

As I begin the process of pondering Advent's first week, I do so with with a hopeful expectancy that has been slowly growing over the past 10 months.  So much pondering preceded the birth of Jesus so long ago. Not all of it was hopeful...sadly.

It is the same today for many.

But I am hopeful because of what I have been learning -- or relearning? -- about Father, Son and Spirit. How their Eternal Three-in-One reality is always active everywhere and cannot be thwarted.  They are the quintessential waiters. But their waiting in not empty or wasted, because they are always busy together -- even while they're waiting for us to wake up to the stunning knowledge of who we are in them, so that we may join in their faithful and quietly joyous work.

Father, Son and Spirit live in Hopeful Expectancy -- in Kairos Time.  I am choosing more and more to live in that reality with them.

May you be drawn into their hopeful time today, and be warmed by the bonfire of their love.

Be blessed!

Year Seven Begins!

Well...I was so busy listening to Baxter and Paul and John from the Open Table Conference, that my Sixth Blogiversary passed on October 19th without my notice.

It is impossible to express what an important thing it has been for me to write my wee purple posts here in my little corner of the Interwebs, as my friend Bill Kinnon would say.  Whether or not it has been of use to anyone else, I cannot say...but it has been good for me to process my journey.

I am in such a different place, in just about every way, than I was back then.  But that is the whole point of a journey, isn't it?  To travel from where you are along the meandering path that life takes is how we participate in the life of God in Jesus.

There is quite a bit of dancing along the way.  I've gotten a good deal of use out of my purple dancing shoes. ;^)

Be blessed, precious companions!

Abi's Fourth Blogiversary

Four years ago, this wee purple abbess began sharing her story in this blog.  It has been an important thing to do ... and I believe I will continue to do it.  The changes that have transpired in my life over these past four years are, well, mind-blowing.  Many changes have made their way into posts ... much more has not.  The Mystery is profound ... and sometimes the only proper response is silence and contemplation.

Many things that I thought I would write about have not yet come to pass.  But I believe that, in Father's good time, they will.

I am reading more than I expected -- but not what I expected.  I am doing personal journaling more consistently in these past four years than ever before ... words of joy and pain, life and death, clarity and confusion, peace and turmoil, order and chaos ... that are only between my Father and me.  Change is difficult.  Transformation is an intentional dying so that the new life is free from the old forms.

To quote Peck:  "Life is difficult."

Why do I sometimes still grieve for those old, dying forms?  I guess because I had grown accustomed to them and they were comfortable and predictable.  Because sometimes I am lazy ... and unwilling to do the work necessary to extend myself for the other.  My cHesed glasses need cleaning.  I need to continue to trust Father, even (especially?) when it is dark.

For those of you who have journeyed with me during this time, thank you.  Your companionship has been more important than you can possibly imagine.  I am grateful for the light you have shed on my path ... and glad if I have been able to shed any light (probably in shades of purple) on yours.

May you be blessed according to your need as you follow according to your readiness.  Father is both able to supply all your needs and lead you safely and effectively wherever you are on the journey....

Abi

Abi and "The Church"

Well, as seems to be consistently the case, I know it is time to read something when I actually am able to read it.  That happened this week as I finally read So You Don't Want to Go to Church Anymore, by Jake Colesen.

Friends of Abi will remember that I have been processing the impact of a weekend Wayne Jacobsen spent with our Short Yellow Bus missional group over two years ago.  As a result of that event, I first read Wayne's He Loves Me, which was a good reinforcement for what I heard in person.  I have since read it maybe three times.  It takes a very long time to make new maps of territory you have lived with for your whole life....

It took be a little longer to read his Authentic Relationships, because I had spent so much energy on authentic EVERYTHING over the past 12 years. But I found there were ideas that had changed in subtle ways, along with so many other things this Virtual Abbess has pondered the past four years.

Before I went on my "stimulus fast" for my tired brain, I was listening to Wayne's Transitions podcasts.  More reinforcement for what I had read and heard.

So why did it take so long to get around to reading the Jake Colesen story?  I am trusting Father, as I strive to live more in Kairos time, that it was finally the right time.

It certainly was.

Jake story covers about four years ... hmmm, it will be four years since I started blogging next week.  It is a story that speaks to so much of my story, it is quite uncanny.  But the best part -- and the reason I think it was finally time -- was realizing that I am finally moving into that reconstruction stage.  Where living loved is getting closer to life than thought.  Where living free is on the rise ... and living full is on the horizon, over the next hill.

Similarities:

• Jake moved from one career to his dream of paid pastoral ministry -- only to find that there are lots of things that are just not right in the way the church-as-institution plays out.  My move from organizational management -- and my long-time sense that church-as-business was not always very holy -- brought up some interesting, um, challenges as my dream of pastoral ministry came true.  I handled some better than others...and, with Dickens, I would realize that -- "It was the best of times; it was the worse of times."
• Jake tried to incorporate some of the new things he was learning ... with some fairly disastrous results.  Can you can "misunderstood assumptions"?
• Jake was devastated by the poor way "crises" were handled by the leadership ... and lived many years with lots of people have a totally wrong ideas of why he left -- and why he wasn't even going to church somewhere else.
• It seemed to get worse before it got better ... with lots of "huh" times, trying to figure out what Father was up to.
• It usually comes down to people not knowing what Jesus is really like.  They've heard lots about him, but it wasn't translating into a dynamic, living, relationship.  The culture of institution falls far short of the experience of journeying with Jesus -- and those who cross your path.

In the end it came down to realizing that the Church -- the Bride of Christ -- is a reality to be lived rather than a place to go with programs to implement and expectations and responsibilities met.

* * * * * * *

Freedom ... lots of talk about it these days.  So I was interested to run across a pamphlet (sorting and consolidating books) I've had for some 30 years, by my ministry mentor.  And his thoughts about freedom (that it is so often sacrificed for security -- not just in society, but in the Church) took me to some other thoughts I had been sharing here and at Jesus Creed about M. Scott Peck's ideas about laziness....

I have been wondering if it is time to read that section of The Road Less Traveled again.  I think it might be. Then I will have more to say....

In the meantime I am learning to lean into Father's love for me ... to embrace the challenge to live free from condemnation and false security ... so that I may live full -- of life in the Spirit.  As I experience life in the Church, I am content to let Father take care of the on which journey others are traveling.  Father knows where each of us are and meets us there.  Whew ... I don't have to be the church police any more!

Be blessed on your journey.

Abi

Abi Ponders the Circle of Life....

Quite a lot has happened since last I posted....

I am a great-aunt for the 10th time -- and little Wesley Carter Ahlberg and his parents are doing great.  It was good to see them in their fun home in San Diego.  Before long Jeff will have a harness made for Nukie, their enormous white Alaskan Malamut, and baby Wesley will be ready to learn mushing (on wheels, of course -- no snow in SD).   :^)   Even though it was technically "against the 2 weeks of rest" rule, they braved the trip to Fullerton what was a very eventful weekend.

I have a new niece-in-law!  Steve and Merrilee Sandy's wedding was lovely ... even if we didn't get that their little ring bearer was dressed up as Frodo with Steve's ring on a chain around his neck -- and walked down the aisle to the Hobbit's melody from LOTR....  The rehearsal dinner and reception was lots of fun and Alexander had a grand time soaking up as much hang time with his cousins as possible.

But the most ... well, I don't have the proper word to describe it ... profound will have to work ... the most profound experience of this past month has been experiencing the passing of my father, Gene S. Carter, on Wednesday, June 22, 2011.
 
All the family was already planning to be in town for the wedding on Saturday, June 25th, so it made sense to plan for his memorial service for Sunday afternoon, June 26th.  On the one hand it was the right thing to do so quickly and efficiently.  On the other hand, it was a whirlwind of a weekend!  I know that there were those who would have wanted to attend but just didn't get the word in time.  That's just the way it goes, eh?

The experience was much like a wedding, in fact -- you are aware of lots of people around, but you don't seem to be able to get to talk with everyone and the memories are a little fuzzy.  But the service itself was just about perfect.  My sister, Becky, had apparently been working on it for about 5 weeks.  It showed.

Dad loved to sing ... and we did a lot of singing.  But the best singing was the Men's Ensemble -- two of Dad's favorites directed by Becky and sung by his only son, two of his many "honorary sons", three sons-in-law and five grandsons.  Dad would have said "that was just marvelous" ... and he would have been right.  My firstborn doesn't do a lot of singing, but he has a lovely bass and it was a very moving experience for him to be able to participate.

* * * * * * *

The mystery of blending loss and gain, grief and joy, tears and laughter, holding on and letting go is beyond profound.  The slowly spreading awareness of the loss of Dad's presence is deeply profound for me.  I can only imagine how it is for my Mom -- his beloved wife and companion and partner in ministry for 64 years.

For each of us who loved Gene Carter there is a deep sense of gratitude to God -- for Dad's life, his ministry, his generosity, his servant-leadership, his wonderful preaching, his effective way of teaching in so many different venues (church, college, Lions, camp, business, community, relationally).  He was a fiercely loyal man -- a trusted and valued friend and ally who seemed to be able to move heaven and earth with a phone call ... and a force to be reckoned with for those who harmed or hampered those he loved.  Sometimes he could have used a little tempering of that ferociousness....

Dad had a few "wishes" about his death:  to precede his wife and children, to not linger -- especially not to prolong his death with heroic measures (he was ready to meet Jesus), and to be clear-minded and "present" until the end.  Well, he got two out of three ... because the Parkinson's disease that impaired the use of his muscles took his ability to be "present" with those he loved long before his strong, healthy body wore out.

When I saw him last summer, communication was so challenging for him.  Some good moments in the midst of significant disorientation.  It was frustrating beyond measure for this dynamic communicator to be excluded from life in such a cruel way.  In one of those few clear moments, we had a great talk.  We shared our gratitude for having been able to work together at University Christian Church, Long Beach First Christian Church, but especially in the Degree Completion Program at the college; for sharing the joy of preaching and teaching -- and especially of interim ministry at the Wananalua Congregational Church in Hana on Maui; and most of all for the blessing of working together on his book -- and finishing it just in time to distribute it to his children and grandchildren at the family reunion honoring their 60th Anniversary. 

He had a blast with his book -- sending it to all his siblings and nieces and nephews and friends from churches and work places and Lions.  He took one last trip to his hometown of Springfield, IL for the Carter Thanksgiving Reunion and had a great time.  His last time of speaking in public came during a luncheon in his honor in December of 2007.  As a result of reading his book, the president at HIU realized that Dad's influence at the college/university over the previous 35 years had been profound -- and he resolved that Dad would be honored at the mid-year commencement with the Founder's Award -- HIU's highest honor.  While he declined to say anything upon receiving the award, he did say a few words of thanks to those at the luncheon.  He rose to the occasion and left us laughing and wiping our eyes.  He was diagnosed with Parkinson's the following spring...but he had already tied up all the loose ends of his life. 

The mystery of the Severe Mercy (what C. S. Lewis called the death of the wife of a friend:  as severe as death; as merciful as love) engulfed my Dad -- and those who loved him -- in the four years that followed his diagnosis.  As severe as the decline into isolation (unable to converse freely) but as merciful as the love of Mom and family and friends -- as his Savior -- surrounding him all the way to the end.

He looked at me on one "good" day last July -- what turned out to be the last time I saw him -- and said: "I'm ready to go."  I said: "I know you are, Dad."  It would be 11 more months before his name was called....  It was a great encouragement when Mom told me that Dad frequently browsed through his book this last year.

I believe that Dad was "present" down the stretch at the end of his Race.  He came out of the fog of disorientation and realized it was time to go on to the next stage in his journey.  In those last two weeks, as he closed his eyes and seemed oblivious to his surroundings (seemed is an important word here) and his family, I felt like his spirit was growing stronger as his body grew weaker.  He was completely calm -- no agitation or restlessness.  He was moving deeper into the mystery of the Dance -- the interpenetrating reality of Life In God.  He was living less and less in Chronos and more and more in Kairos time.

I do not understand the mysteries of loss and grief ... but I am beginning to sense -- at least for me -- that it contains a wee bit of "green" longing ... for Dad has moved from faith to sight.  For those of us who are already in Christ but not yet present with Christ, our lives are profoundly changed by Dad's absence.  After a while I know my mourning will be turned into dancing ... because I know I will meet Dad in the great Dance -- in a very already-but-not-yet way.

I am confident that I will be pondering this for some time to come ... and that I will be forever grateful to be The Youngest of the Youngest.

Be blessed.

Wandering with a Waiting Abbess....

I am happy to be inspired to contribute to the December Synchroblog - Advent As A Journey.  I am still relatively new to the whole idea of "Advent" ... coming from what I have learned is a "low church" background.  Once I got over feeling slighted...  :^) ... I've enjoyed embracing this -- and many other "high church" traditions.  But, of course, in my special "abi-normal" manner!

My third year with Advent (you might have noticed that I did not blog through Advent last year ... I was, well, journeying through it) finds me in a very different place in my Journey with Jesus.

As I have been deconstructing "religion" over the past few years, my journey has been one of asking hard questions and being willing to be led out into a kind of desert detour -- where the bustle of life does not intrude so much and the heart is better able to hear that still, small voice of our amazing Papa.

No one comes out of a desert detour without being changed.  I am no exception.  I would also suggest that no two desert detours are the same journey ... for that is one of the things I have learned over the past four years:  just as each of us are unique, our journey with our Triune God is unique.  Formulaic responses are less than satisfactory.

This, then, is my Advent of Reconstruction.  I have pretty much finished deconstructing my religious experience and have begun reconstructing my relationship with Jesus ... as sister and as part of his Bride, the Church.

But there is an interesting leg of the journey between "de" and "re" construction.

Grief ... mourning ... letting go of all the expectations which have disappointed -- sometimes enslaved -- my heart and kept me from joining the Great Dance. 

Part of the problem is that I did not have dancing shoes.  Or, more precisely, I did not take off my steel-toed shoes necessary for the process of demolition, where dangerous pieces of brokenness threatened harm.  I was nearing the end of my desert detour when I realized that I had been slogging through the desert in battle boots!  How they slowed my steps, draining my energy, tripping me up with their "protection."

Then, I arrived at an oasis.  With a lovely pool of water.  How I longed to put my tired, aching, dusty feet into that inviting pool.  But like Eustace-the-Dragon, Aslan needed to "undress" me ... lest I foul the water.  So Jesus helped me take off my boots.  He drew water from the pond and washed away years of caked-on debris.  My feet were so refreshed that I no longer needed to wade in the water.  And then he did the most amazing thing:  he brought me dancing shoes.  Beautiful, purple (of course!) satin shoes.  Shoes that will not wear out -- like the sandals of the Hebrew people in the desert -- because they are Eternal shoes.  They are shoes made by the Spirit / Sarayu.  They ARE because God perceives them.  They are Kairos shoes ... and like Dorothy's Ruby Slippers, they can take me Home at any time ... when I understand their power.

So, this Advent, I am journeying in my new purple dancing shoes.

I have put all white candles in my Advent Candelabra ... because I am embracing a life of greater and greater simplicity ... and I could not find the right colors this year as I did back in 2007 ... and Papa helped me see that the color of the candles is not important.

This year, we are going through Advent with the Mosaic Bible ... in a relaxed and simple time before dinner.  (I am excited to go through the entire year with this wonderful tool.  It is a very Ancient/Future kind of thing!)

Last week we read and thought about Longing -- Waiting for the treasure that Jesus is.  We talked about how some things just take a long time.  (Like grieving the loss of everything familiar that you had built your life around -- beware the process of deconstruction, it will tear down more than you are expecting!)

And this week we read and thought about Hope -- Hoping for Hope that shines like a light in the darkness.  We talked about how difficult it is to wait for things we really want ... and that sometimes we just have to hope for enough hope to be able to wait until the time is right.

So, this wee abbess is grateful that the Waiting of Deconstruction and Mourning is passing ... and is Hoping for the Hope that comes with her new purple dancing shoes.  (Perhaps now the Spirit will release me to write about Perichoresis ... that Great Dance!)

Hope does not disappoint us, because our Hope is not in people or religion or any other human ideas or institution.  Our Hope is in the Lord Jesus Christ ... for whose birth the whole of creation longed, waiting until the fullness of time had come.

As each of us wait, may we all come to realize that the fullness of time is unique to each of us as we journey with our God.  May you wait patiently for your dancing shoes ... I hope to see you in yours in the Great Dance.

Be blessed....

The Virtual Abbess and the iMonk –Part II

Part I, which I didn’t know was going to be the beginning of a series, was posted shortly after Michael Spencer, the one and only iMonk, passed from this life. He has always been someone I appreciated, but I followed his journey with cancer especially close, since he also left this life too early and very quickly – as did my sister-in-law last year. Her first grandson was just born last Tuesday … and that just isn’t right, you know?

I had been considering reading his book and just hadn’t put it on my list … until a couple of weeks ago. And so I just recently finished reading Michael Spencer’s one and only book, Mere Churchianity: Finding Your Way Back to Jesus-Shaped Spirituality. It was just the right thing at just the right time … truly a kairos time moment with Papa.

The front and back covers of my copy of this book have notations from 37 pages throughout the very important little book. Notations that I wanted to be sure I could find again. But the one for page 184 is the reason for this post today.

Near the end of the chapter 15, The Good and Bad of Being Alone, Michael says:

Jesus is the Model for faithfully following God no matter what the group advocates, teaches, legislates, or demands. He was the most distinctive individual of all time, and he possesses the power to make us both like himself and fully, completely ourselves. In Jesus is the power of holy solitude and Jesus-shaped community…. (pp. 183-184)

When I read those words, something clicked in my brain. I wrote this in the space following that paragraph:

Hmmm … our first community is to be with Father, Son and Holy Spirit – Perichoretic Community.

Contrary to some of what I had heard, the iMonk is not advocating an inappropriately individualistic version of Christianity. He is suggesting that our primary community is to be Perichoretic – intertwined with the Eternal Community. Until we can be one with Them, we will not ever be fully ourselves. And until we can be fully ourselves, we will not be able to fully give ourselves to others.

... I'm pondering this well ... and there is a good reason why perichoretic is purple.... But we'll get to that as we go along.  ;^)

* * * * * * *

I have been waiting for a very long time to write about perichoresis … but I have been waiting for the right time. And it seems that the right time has finally come. Thank you, Michael, for handing that final Jesus-shaped piece to me … I am so very grateful.

So … I will be looking over some of the things I have scribbled in journals about perichoresis over the past four years and seeing how they look with this piece in place. I have a feeling that it will be much simpler and more straight-forward. I was waiting until the complexity resolved … and, as always, the time has been important for me – so that I was ready to receive this piece at this place in my journey.

Stay tuned ... and, in the meantime, be blessed!

Thoughts on Women and Men who "Get" Relationship

Processing lots of thoughts these days...and entered the discussion over at Jesus Creed today.  Scot wonders why studies consistently show that women are more religious than men, and I responded this way:

Perhaps it is that women believe that God both hears and understands them and values them enough to offer intimate relationship and personal empowering by the indwelling of the Holy Spirit.

They might also believe Paul (following Jesus) when he talks about how men are to behave:  laying down their lives for their wives, as Christ did for the church.  This is something that engenders hope where there is frequently despair and oppression.

There are men who want to view Jesus through a power/command paradigm, and so are drawn to religion.  There are also some who get the servant nature of God, and are drawn to relationship.

But it is really true that woman "get" relationship more readily than men ... and so resonate with a God who is so devoted to relationship as to embody frail humanity in order to live among us.

Men who value being loved unconditionally while being drawn to Jesus as the example of being fully human are, in my experience, the ones who embrace and encourage the sisters to fully engage in the life that God offers us in Jesus.

Dying to self is not for wimps.  Neither is giving birth and raising children.  Marriage is the first relationship where God asks us to die to self.  Parenting is the next step.  God is the perfect model for both relationships -- walking the talk in earth in the body of Jesus.

Taking things one moment at a time -- trying to live in kairos time with Papa, knowing that this is the only way I'll survive chronos time with those around me.

Be blessed....

Oh, and while I'm at it, stay tuned for the release of Wiki2.  I am excited to finally see it.  What I've been hearing sounds awesome.

Time Travel....

While sitting on the volcanic rocks down the beach from our "Turtle House" this morning, I was basking in the sun--and The Son--and this is what occurred to me as I was attempting to distill down some of what I've been processing about "living loved" from Wayne Jacobson's book "He Loves Me"...

My days may be measured in Chronos time...but I choose to live them in Kairos time.

In the days to come, I will be unpacking more. In the meantime....

Be blessed.

Abi is trying to do some reading....

I have become convinced that time goes by twice as fast for me as the rest of my family. That seems to be the only explanation for why I just can not seem to get things off my "to do list" ... or not.

Sigh.

But I'm still trying to live in each moment -- to be as fully "present" as I can. It is not an easy thing to do....

In the meantime, I have three new books. One I have finished (and loaned to a friend -- hi, Sue!), the second I have begun and a third that must wait just a bit longer.

Sigh.

The first book is what The Abbess considers a "must read" because it is the first book on "leadership" that has been truly "fresh" in a very long time. It is called Making Room for Leadership: Power, Space and Influence. I am hoping that I can find a group that will process this book with me, because I don't think it can be properly internalized without live, gracious and honest feedback. I agree with Len Sweet, who praised it at the Recalibrating Concepts of Church conference at George Fox last month ... get this book! I am grateful that they included MaryKate on the speakers panel. More on what I thought later (when I get my book, with my notes, back ;^) ... no hurry, Sue!)

The second book, which I have already begun, is Organic Leadership: Leading Naturally Right Where You Are -- and since the other books by Neil Cole have been so resonate and influential with me, I was fairly confident this one would be to. It is looking like it will not disappoint ... again, as with Organic Church, it seems like Neil has been thinking the same thoughts and seeing the same movies as I have.

The third book is ReJesus: A Wild Messiah for a Missional Church, by Alan Hirsch and Michael Frost ... and, like Neil, Alan's work has always resonated with me ... and I owe so much to Alan's kindness and generosity of spirit from my early blogging days at TFW -- from which sprang The Abbey....

...but I do not think I will get to any reading today.

Sigh.

...living in the moment, being "present" to that which the Spirit sets before you, does not result is dynamic day-planning sessions -- but that's okay with this wee, purple abbess.

Shalom to you....

The HMS HESED as Missional Order

It was striking to me, as I was preparing my 40 Days of cHesed posts this week, that the image God gave me (back in the summer of 2003) of an aircraft carrier is so very much like a missional order ... like CovenantClusters.

The thing that is most striking to me is that the HESED is a ship where you live and serve ... not a place you go to serve. But that ship is on the move ... is in not anchored in a harbor.

So it is with the Body of Christ. It is not a sacred place, but a sacred people ... making sacred each place where they are.

...this is a powerful reminder to me of many things -- not the least of which is that God sometimes tells me things in my "now" that I won't really make complete sense until years later. Very much like seed planting, this. God planted a seed that was a pretty little plant six years ago ... but it is turning out to be something much more than I thought.

How very much like Sarayu....

40 Days of cHesed—Day 28

Day 28 It Takes Time

Let’s check in on our garden. How’s it looking? What—no corn yet? We’ve been watering. The sun has been shining. What’s the matter?

Nothing. Growing things just takes time. Some seeds take longer to mature than others—you have to know what you’ve planted and the sign of maturity.

How long do you think it takes to go through the cycle—from hearing the Good News of Jesus, to joining the Covenant Community, to becoming a fully-devoted disciple of Christ, to helping disciple another?

I guess we should expect it to take as long as two years. (If we follow the example of Jesus.) But it certainly doesn’t happen if we don’t work through it on purpose.

Once we’ve gone through our first cycle, then what? We help someone else go through—by going along with them.

How many times do we go around this cycle? Well, we expect to be in the middle of a cycle when we die or when Jesus returns to take us to heaven.

It doesn’t take a little time for the Spirit to transform you to become like Christ. It will take the rest of your life.

But if you will look, you will see signs of growth. Cheer each other on—that’s part of the function of the community! Encouragement from God and from each other is what helps us be patience with the process.

Today’s Look at 1 John

Read 1 John 3:11-4:6. While you’re reading, look for encouragement to keep practicing.

Keep Breathing!

Well—we are almost out of the flat lands! Hey, you’re showing some good muscle definition when you turn to God as your first reaction to every situation – so he can help you respond with righteousness.

Way to go! Just keep going—never give up—you will reach the destination in God’s time.

40 Days of cHesed...looking into 2009 by looking back to 2003

[Note: This work is adapted from a Journey Guide I wrote which was used in conjunction with a 40 Days of Purpose campaign in October of 2003. It was designed to follow Warren’s campaign but not use any of his materials—I adapted this (with permission) to fit the goals, objectives and doctrine of my local congregation. I have removed most of the things that would identify it as such, while leaving chapter titles and weekly heading mostly as they were.

I have been on quite a journey since I wrote this over five years ago … yet much of this was foundational for where I’ve been going. I put it in this form to help those who are wondering how I got to this point in my journey and to help break down cHesed and put in into context.]

* * * * * * *

I have decided to start 2009 with this glance back to a very significant experience in my life. Writing this document began in early July and was finished in early September. It was one of those kairos moments in my life that is not explainable in chronos terms....

Since my life has been truly transformed by a deeper understanding of covenant and covenant keeping, I invite you to take a 40 day journey (Mondays through Fridays) to see what Abi has come to hold as foundational. I left in the original weekly titles because they are sometimes mentioned in the devotionals (and they will help you track how my work was different from Warren's, if you are interested) ... but they will be a wee bit abi-normal, as we will be on an eight week schedule. ;^)

As you begin this journey with me, ask God to open your heart to what the Holy Spirit wants to do in your life in these 40 days—that’s the only way to guarantee that you won’t be disappointed! Embrace these eight five-day weeks with expectancy not expectation!

The activities scheduled for these 40 Days of cHesed include:

• Daily devotions.
• A plan for reading through the book of 1 John—one section for each of the first seven weeks and a review of the entire book during the last week. This will be a “big picture” view, not a verse-by-verse study. We won’t necessarily be dividing our reading exactly by chapters, but by thoughts. (The Bible wasn’t written with chapter and verse divisions—people made those divisions later…and some of their choices weren’t the greatest.)
• Our weekly Getting In Shape section will focus on my Learning to Walk with God exercises.
• Each day will include a Keep Breathing! section to “coach” you through that week’s exercise in prayer.

So, stop back on Monday and we'll get started!

Advent 2008 with Abi--Day 7

Well, this is the last day in the first week of Advent ... and so the Abbess leaves you with one more story of hope.

This has been a week full of amazing synergistic connection with my Missional Tribe (more information to follow about who and what and all). As we were sharing, these very purple words bubbled up from deep in my soul. AbbE suggested that he was reading a post on Hope for The Virtual Abbess ... and I agreed.

Before you read my story, there are two blog posts that you really should read first. The first is from Erika Haub at The Margins and the second is from Milton at don’t eat alone. Without this context, what follows will not make as much (any?) sense.

I had so many thoughts swirling around in my head as I read his story. He (following Erika) is talking very much about the essence of the Virtual Abbess and her Purple Martyrdom, my friends … for I have spent a lifetime being a very good friend to many who just wanted to take advantage of what I had to offer.

But when life turned Purple and shattered and I became a broken-down, beyond chronically exhausted mother desperate to hang on hour-by-hour in order to beat the odds of recovering from catastrophic accidents and care for a newborn and two toddlers and answer the call of God to actually serve in an amazing pastoral ministry opportunity … I found myself very inconvenient to the many I thought were my friends … who neither wept with me or came to help me fold laundry because my neck and shoulder and back injuries prevented me from even doing this small task … and kept forgetting that I was broken, because after seven years I should be better, shouldn't I?

They were not there the day the doctor told me that my chances for recovery were poor, at best – and I had 8 ½ more months of pregnancy and a third child still ahead … and no family nearby to help me....

But it took a sister in Christ who (unbeknownst to me at the time) prayed me into being our middle school PTSA President (she is my right-hand as PTSA Secretary) … and then became my real life House Fairy last spring (trying to prepare for summer) and just recently again in November (trying to recover from summer). She would come – sometimes for 15 minutes, sometimes for 2 hours – and help me wash dishes, or clothes, or the kitchen floor, or the bathroom, or the kids' room (again!), or sort through stuff and rejoice with every little thing I either threw out or gave away … telling me what Fly Lady would do and then helping me do it.

And I have never been so humiliated and so honored at the same time, that this precious sister would carve out time from her busy days to come into the nightmare that has been my house these past eight years and help me break it down into pieces and get it done side-by-side is beyond words still. This is a woman who knows how to "wash feet" … and she saw the need that so many chose not to and didn't try to tell me that "Life's a bitch, isn't it?" or "These hard times will pass—everybody goes through this." or "Just suck it up and quit whining." or any number of other unhelpful things that I have heard over the years. She saw my need and moved to be Christ's hands and feet…to yoke up with me to help me carry the burden.

* * * * * * *

Wherever you are on this 7^th Day of Advent, the last day of pondering Purple Hope, I pray that you will do two things:

First, choose to listen to those who need to have someone truly hear them … listen them into free speech (as our friends from Allelon say) by letting them talk long enough that they are able to hear themselves—perhaps for the first time—and in being heard, perhaps they will have the courage to share their heart's simple-but-seemingly-hopeless need.

Second, choose to watch for these Kairos-time moments where you might have the privilege of being Christ’s hands or feet or shoulder to some brother or sister with an empty spot in their yoke. Perhaps they will invite you into their pain and allow you to slip on their yoke and even out their burden. Might just take 15 minutes … might take two hours … one time, or once a week, or once a month, or whatever it takes to meet their need.

Dare to have hope … dare to give hope.

Love your neighbor as yourself.

AbiSomeone