Four years ago, this wee purple abbess began sharing her story in this blog. It has been an important thing to do ... and I believe I will continue to do it. The changes that have transpired in my life over these past four years are, well, mind-blowing. Many changes have made their way into posts ... much more has not. The Mystery is profound ... and sometimes the only proper response is silence and contemplation.
Many things that I thought I would write about have not yet come to pass. But I believe that, in Father's good time, they will.
I am reading more than I expected -- but not what I expected. I am doing personal journaling more consistently in these past four years than ever before ... words of joy and pain, life and death, clarity and confusion, peace and turmoil, order and chaos ... that are only between my Father and me. Change is difficult. Transformation is an intentional dying so that the new life is free from the old forms.
To quote Peck: "Life is difficult."
Why do I sometimes still grieve for those old, dying forms? I guess because I had grown accustomed to them and they were comfortable and predictable. Because sometimes I am lazy ... and unwilling to do the work necessary to extend myself for the other. My cHesed glasses need cleaning. I need to continue to trust Father, even (especially?) when it is dark.
For those of you who have journeyed with me during this time, thank you. Your companionship has been more important than you can possibly imagine. I am grateful for the light you have shed on my path ... and glad if I have been able to shed any light (probably in shades of purple) on yours.
May you be blessed according to your need as you follow according to your readiness. Father is both able to supply all your needs and lead you safely and effectively wherever you are on the journey....
Abi
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2 comments:
Happy "bloggerversay" Peggy... it's been lovely to journey with a "virtual friend" and sister. It's funny how you can know more about the soul of someone you've never met than that of people you have... thanks for sharing your story. Love in Jesus, Janet
Thank you, sister!
Sometimes we just don't have the same kinds of conversations "in real life" ... we "assume" we know things about how and what our friends and family feel and think. I bet there is tons to learn if we will be present and listen better and ask more questions.
...learning to be a better listener and ask-er. :^)
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