Abi and the Already/Not Yet Paradox

One of the things that never ceases to amaze me is the way something deep and important is revealed to me by the Spirit, but it takes another 20 years for me to "get" it.  More than just that, the process of "getting it" usually involves coming to the point where I just don't believe it anymore.  It is as if what was first revealed was a taste of the truth...but the context of my reality was such that the full flavor of the truth was blocked. It was as if that intriguing taste compelled me to slowly begin to move away from those ideas and practices of my contextual reality that were out of sync with the truth.

I love and am consistently drawn to paradox.  Perhaps that's why I enjoy space/time paradox books and movies....

I have recently finished reading Wayne Jacobsen's new book, Finding Church. It describes exactly where I find myself these days. I have gone through the deconstruction and rubble-clearing stages and have begun looking for the pattern of healthy reconstruction. So, his book is a helpful bit of confirmation of what the Spirit has been on about these past eight years.  Just as all his earlier books have been important steps along the path of my journey.  I am so grateful to God for Wayne.

I just started reading Kathy Escobar's new book, Faith Shift.  I am looking forward to finding new ways to understand what I have been experiencing, looking through her eyes and trying on her words.  Stay tuned....

I know that Wayne's book is one that I will need to give to friends and family who just don't understand my current experience outside of institutional Christianity.  I have a feeling Kathy's book may need to join it.  I am grateful to God for this brother and sister, their lives, ministry, blogs and books. I was blessed to spend time with Wayne five years ago, and I'm looking forward with hope to meeting Kathy in a couple of months.  Stay tuned for that, too....

What this added up to this morning is the realization that I have come around...again!....to the power of the simple/complex concept of covenant keeping centered in the Hebrew concept of cHesed.

I know you're surprised.  Not.

There is a Covenant Formulary that Dr. Mont Smith made in his book What the Bible Says About Covenant.  [Note:  this book is out of print, but copies can be found through various internet sources.  I have a couple dozen of them myself for use in teaching situations. Someday I hope to reformat it for digital distribution.] It is the definition of what it means to faithfully keep covenant. The formulary goes like this:  In Christ + Like Christ = With Christ.

When I first learned this over 20 years ago, it was presented as a kind of two-sides-to-a-coin thing.  The In Christ side was the faith side and the Like Christ side was the works side.  The Faith plus the Works added up to the fullness of life With Christ.  And that fit with my thinking at that time.

But that was before the deconstruction began...and as my mindset broke apart, it could no longer hold that concept. What was I going to do now? 

I had to let it go...and trust that the Spirit would return it to me when the time was right.

Apparently, that was this morning!

Because in the meantime, the Spirit was immersing me in the spoken and written words of Dr. C. Baxter Kruger...hammering out the concept of perichoresis that has been floating around in my brain for quite some time.  And while that was happening, the other shoe dropped, as it were. I found that Perichoresis remained "out there" -- just beyond reach -- until it was connected with cHesed.

So, I have been processing Perichoretic cHesed through most of 2013 and 2014. Today the old formulary was transformed so that it is real again.  It looks like this:

• Perichoresis is that wonderful dance of mutual interpenetration without loss of distinct individuality, where the Father and Son are in one another through the power of the Spirit. It is into this Great Dance that we (all of the cosmos, actually) have been drawn by the finished work of Jesus, the Father's Eternal Son. It is this reality that is represented by the component of the formulary known as "In Christ".  Everything is now In Christ, who holds all things together. This is true whether we know it or not...whether we accept it or not. It is Reality.
• cHesed is the attitudes and actions of perichoresis.  It is the very steps of the dance. We learn them by dancing with Father, Son and Spirit.  Their attitudes toward each other and us are revealed as we partner with them, as they lead us in the dance, as we relax and follow their lead. These attitudes of cHesed are gracious loving-kindness toward one another and manifest in specific actions:  deliberate affection (love that submits), unmerited favor (grace that serves), and kindness mutually owed (mercy that leads). To follow Jesus' lead and dance the steps of gracious loving-kindness with him is to be "Like Christ".
• Perichoretic cHesed is the Great Dance in its fullness...the dance of covenant keeping. It is a covenant dance where everything depends on the very nature and character of God as Father, Son and Spirit.  They dance the covenant faithfully with each other -- submitting, serving and leading according to the best interest of the Other -- and have done so for Eternity...from before Creation. And by creating the Cosmos, they widened the scope of the dance so that we may join them. This is what it means to be "With Christ" -- to know the love, grace and mercy of Father, Son and Spirit intimately and to dance the steps of submission, service and leading in step with them.  When we are "With Christ", his faithful covenant keeping becomes ours. We cannot do it on our own, we do it with him.  It's a gift we share, not a skill we hone. It is not about us...it is all about Jesus Christ and his relationship with the Father in the Spirit...and our inclusion in that relationship.

The paradox remains...we have already been included In Christ. It is not our choice or reward, but the Eternal will of God which was completed through the birth, life, ministry, death, resurrection and ascension of the Incarnate One, the Father's Eternal Son, Jesus Christ.  But we do not yet experience it fully, because we can't get our brains around what it means to live Like Christ...we have a hard time relaxing and letting him lead us in the dance.

But as we learn to accept that we are fully included -- done deal -- In Christ, and relax into the arms of Jesus and let him lead us in the Dance -- Like Christ, we will finally have peace and rest -- With Christ. 

We will be Home.

Listen to Aslan as he calls the faithful into Narnia...to come further up, come further in.  [Time to read The Last Battle again. ;^)]

My journey seems to be one of climbing a spiral staircase.  As I go further up and further in, it seems like things I've recognized in lower rungs become clearer as I climb higher.  They are not new things I am seeing, but each time I come back around, I see things with better -- renewed -- vision.  The more that I am confident of my place In Christ, the more I begin to see and perceive Like Christ, the more I am at peace With Christ.

The Already/Not Yet Paradox.  It will remain until all things are made new.  But I don't have to wait until then to dwell in the Shalom of Perichoretic cHesed and participate in the Great Dance.

I am already a New Creation In Christ...I am participating in the Dance Like Christ...but I have not yet arrived at the top of the spiral staircase that is my Journey. The Spirit, however, is continually calling me to repentance for my poor theology, renewing my mind, and cleaning the mist off my glasses, so that I see more and more clearly.

It is an awesome view...one that I want to share with those God brings across my path.  It's a process of hope and courage.  Stay tuned!

With immense gratitude as we American's approach our Thanksgiving....

Be blessed!

Abi

Abi redefines and refocuses the controversy....

I have mentioned before that I'm not really comfortable with the terms currently used in the debates. I have had my synthesizing hat on for the past few years, looking to see if I could get my brain about things enough to describe what I have come to understand about the foundational issues that underpin the controversy.

Some of the key players in my thinking  these past 20+ years include: S. Scott Bartchy, Scot McKnight, C. S. Lewis, George MacDonald, Mont W. Smith, Lewis B. Smedes, Wayne Jacobsen, Alan & Deb Hirsch, Eugene H. Peterson, Neil Cole, Michael Frost, Tony and Felicity Dale, Len Hjalmarson, Wm. Paul Young and C. Baxter Kruger ... and all the thinkers of the past they have brought with them into today's arena. I would have a very difficult time separating the various threads each of these persons contributed to the wee tapestry I want to share today.

The following definitions are intentionally very dense as I try to squeeze 40 years and millions of words into something that begins to represent what I believe about how humans are meant to treat one another.  These concepts have been heated white-hot in wrath's purifying and restoring hell-fire (not sure whether I'm ready to join the May Synchroblog: What the hell? ... I may need a rest!) and hammered out on the anvil of spiritual formation over the past five years in my wee purple experience. And now they have been plunged to cool in the Living Water of Truth to harden and prepare for service.

My glasses are still a bit fogged from the steam...and I'm still a bit tender in places that have been pruned and cauterized...but I trust the love of Sarayu that sometimes wounds in order to heal.

I pull no punches today, so I know those brothers and sisters who have invested their lives in what is currently called Complementarianism will not be very happy with me.  The term "Patriarchal Subjugation" will probably offend them.  I am intending to be precise, not offensive. I endeavor to speak the truth in love, spritzing a bit of Trinitarian Windex on their Augustinian glasses, as Baxter says...but I know that they will not see differently until they get a new prescription.

And I realize that it is not my task to convince them and call them to repentance--that is the work of Grandmother! I trust that Jesus is on their journey with them right where they are and that the Spirit will lead them according to their readiness to follow.  I certainly know how long it took me to make this difficult transition. They are still my brothers and sisters in Christ, but that does not mean that I must agree with them.

If you've been following my thoughts over the past eight years, you will see how I've come to this particular synthesis. And, as Craig Groeschel told a group of us at a Church Planting Conference in Kansas about seven years ago:  I only guarantee what I'm saying for 90 days. The Spirit is always at work teaching and leading me toward deeper growth along this journey...and there's always something being pruned, weeded, mulched... hey, it's spring! ;^)

Here goes--I suggest that you read it slowly and out loud (if your surroundings allow!) 

Patriarchal Subjugation 

is a male-centered, domination-based 

functional social structure of scarcity 

implemented by coercion and aversion. 

It's Christian practice flows from 

Augustinian-based scriptural interpretation and tradition, 

which is influenced by the pagan Greek philosophy of Socrates 

as taught by Plato, Aristotle and others. 

(Interestingly, Socrates rose to influence 

as the 400 years of prophetic silence 

was beginning for the Hebrews 

and his philosophy was firmly entrenched 

in the dominant culture of the Roman Empire 

when, in the fullness of time, Christ was born.)

Its infiltration from Western Civilization into Western Christianity 

was as subtle as a pagan wolf in Christian sheep's clothing 

and its practice ultimately fosters bondage and stunted maturity—

both of the oppressor and the oppressed.

Its peace is built on the coercive order

and cruel efficiency of the PAX ROMANA.

[I will need to come back and unpack this later...

probably with lots of links

to things that have already been said better

 somewhere else!]

Perichoretic cHesed

is an other-centered, self-giving 

relational social structure of abundance 

implemented by gracious loving-kindness 

and manifests as unmerited favor, 

mutual submission and 

mutually-initiated helpfulness

based on the best interest of the other. 

It flows out of Trinitarian-based scriptural interpretation, 

which is influenced by the Hebraic covenant philosophy of YHWH 

as revealed to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, 

and given to Moses in the Law,

known as the Old Covenant, 

and taught by the prophets. 

As it was radically reinterpreted by Jesus 

and introduced as the New Covenant, 

(cut in his very own body 

and shedding his very own blood,

to bring about our rebirth and adoption)

and taught by Paul and the very Early Church Fathers, 

its faithful and humble practice

results in the growing freedom

and growing maturity 

of ALL toward Christlikeness. 

Its peace is the very own peace of Christ Jesus, 

which is not at the world gives,

but rather removes both anxiety and fear

as all come to learn of their 

inclusion in the very Life Eternal

of the Father and the Son in the Spirit

as adopted children and joint heirs with Christ Jesus.

Perichoretic cHesed...

It's News...because we didn't know it.  And it's Good!  (HT: C. Baxter Kruger)

Grace and peace to you!

Abi

Abi and the Fabric of Accommodation

Inspired by Kate’s post at The Junia Project and a brilliant spin off post on how racism and patriarchy are cut from the same cloth….

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Back in the spring of 1997, I watched a riveting speaker rebuke the folks at TBN – from TBN’s stage.  I don’t remember his name or the response, but I’ll never forget what he said.  The bottom line of his rebuke that spring afternoon was:  Do not confuse the apparent blessing of God with a stamp of approval on your methods.  Wow.  So much of what is wrong with the world can be attributed to this issue….

I think that this rebuke rightly joins with another important concept I learned while a student at PCC (now HIU):  frozen accommodations.  The late Dr. Mont Smith coined this wonderful phrase in his important book, What the Bible Says About Covenant (College Press, 1981, pp. 370-371; unfortunately out of print), as part of a larger discussion on the Doctrine of Implied Power. He begins this section with:  “Inherent in the doctrine of implied power was the danger of holding a group at a point of accommodation after the social situation changed.” Then he gets to this:  “What the Apostles would have insisted upon was a return to the standard of full Christlike service for all and to all, as soon as possible.”

The problem has always come when that which was meant as a temporary accommodation becomes frozen in time and custom and culture.  Then it is no longer seen as an accommodation to human weakness; it becomes “the will of God,” complete with out-of-context proof-texting.

God always stoops to accommodate our immaturity, because They love us and are always looking out for our best interest.  They are not willing that we should perish.  When there is an issue we have problems with, rather than just blowing us away, God woos us bit by bit…beginning right where we are and slowly nudging us in the proper direction.

The Apostles, as they helped the young churches live out the mind-blowing freedom Jesus brought, had to continue God’s use of temporary accommodations to the weakness and hard-heartedness of men during the process of growing up in the kingdom family of God.

In their writings we see more of the same problems with the fluid nature of growth being frozen into structures of power and domination, rather than freedom in Christ by the Spirit.

So how do things become frozen?  I think it stems from what M. Scott Peck, M.D., thought about original sin.  Peck came to see original sin as laziness:  “attempting to avoid necessary suffering, or taking the easy way out.”  Laziness is the anti-cHesed.  

(Terminology break:  cHesed is a Hebrew concept usually translated something like gracious loving-kindness -- I believe it is the concept used to describe the primary nature of God as Love -- it describes the activity of faithful covenant keeping. I join it with the Greek concept of perichoresis, which describes the Life of the Trinity: mutual interpenetration without loss of distinctiveness.  The result:  Perichoretic cHesed.)

And so the Fabric of Accommodation is woven with threads of laziness … because growth is hard work.  Life is difficult, and learning to think clearly – not simplistically – is the weak link in all humans. Paul tells us that this can only be done by the continual renewing of our minds by the Spirit. We must learn to think with the Mind of Christ!

The drive for independence actually leads to a worse kind of dependence.  Rejecting dependence on God as faithful covenant partner, the human drive for independence (at the Fall and since) was a rejection of the necessary suffering required for growth and interdependence and cHesed: mutually seeking the best interest of the covenant partners.

The cross Christ has asked us to take up daily is the dance of Perichoretic cHesed:  to both receive and give love that submits, grace that serves, and mercy that initiates and leads. To allow ourselves to be drawn into the Eternal Perichoretic cHesed in order to share it. This is a profound paradox -- his yoke is easy and his burden is light....

• Patriarchy as a system of social order was allowed as an accommodation by God to the social order of humanity in its infancy. There are many examples of how God rejected patriarchy when new lessons were being taught.  (Think about what Jesus meant when he said that the Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath.)

• The subjugation of women (and children and slaves and other members of the family/tribe) is a foundational principle of patriarchy. As a consequence of the Fall, God foresaw that women would desire their men (even with increased pain in childbirth) as protectors and providers (a mere shadow of their originally intended dynamic partnership), and that their men would use their power to rule over them. To state that this has always been the intention of God in the creation of humanity is a bizarre kind of blindness.

• Polygamy, as a sub-system of patriarchy, was also accommodated and used by God to educate humanity and provide justice for those involved – as a part of experiencing kingdom life that was already, but not yet fully, being realized. From creation God intended that marriage would be a permanent bonding between one man and one woman for the purpose of experiencing a foreshadowing of the blessing of the Perichoretic cHesed of the Eternal Triune God – including being sub-creators under God (HT J.R.R. Tolkien) and procreators.

• Divorce, then, is abhorred by God – but is yet another accommodation to the hard-heartedness of men. It was provided as a protection of the wives (and children) from abuse and abandonment. It shows the immaturity of those who are not willing or ready to do the hard work required for intimate relationship and community to flourish as Perichoretic cHesed.

• Slavery was a reality in every ancient human society. God tolerated slavery as an accommodation to human social and economic circumstances. However, he fostered maturity in humanity when he gave slaves a frequent place in Their kingdom work – offering protection, respect, and ultimately hope for freedom as well as adoption in the redemptive work of Jesus!

• Racism is a subset of slavery in that those races that were victorious in battle took slaves both as a way to humiliate the defeated (put them in their place, as it were) as well as to provide laborers. The history of slavery in America is full of talk about slaves not being fully human. Makes me ill to even think about it, especially having recently read the original manuscript of 12 Years A Slave….

• Monarchy in Israel was an accommodation by God to the weakness of humanity, who wanted a human king – even knowing that a king would tax and dominate them – rather than accept God as king.  "Lording it over" others is NOT the plan of God, as Jesus clearly taught.

All these are forms of accommodation God made to the hardness of men’s hearts.  Each of them represents a rejection of the will of God that They were willing to accommodate in order to lead humanity home.

But in the fullness of time, God came in the flesh as Jesus – God With Us – and set the record straight for those with eyes to see and ears to hear.

In the section on Increasing Interpersonal Competence, Chris Argyris developed and articulated his Immaturity-Maturity continuum as a way to show how institutions always tend to foster immaturity because they value order, efficiency and conformity over creativity, effectiveness and diversity.  (Management of Organizational Behavior, Sixth Edition, Paul Hersey and Kenneth H. Blanchard, Prentice Hall, 1993, pp. 64-69)

I believe the theory known as Situational Leadership, developed by Hersey and Blanchard (Management of Organizational Behavior, Sixth Edition, Paul Hersey and Kenneth H. Blanchard, Prentice Hall, 1993, pp. 183-219), is so powerful and true because it is a representation of God’s leadership style as They exist as Three who mutually submit, serve and lead together as they live out their Oneness as Perichoretic cHesed.

As They work to help humanity see the reality of our inclusion via adoption in the New Covenant in Jesus, They submit and serve and lead us for our best interest.  Their actions are always about growth and freedom and participation in the Great Dance of Perichoretic cHesed (which I call the perfect relational pH).

Leaders with the proper pH lead according to the readiness level of the follower, not according to their preferred leadership style.  Hersey and Blanchard identify four paired styles of leading and following, and humans need to recognize themselves in each style. The challenge is that our leader or follower style will be different depending on the situation.  We can’t just turn on auto pilot – we have to think clearly in order to discern the proper style. Here is a quick summary and a handy chart.

Pen Wilcock’s fabulous Lent book calls the name of God – I AM THAT I AM – Present Presence. I think that’s just right. Our Eternal Triune God lives in Kairos time…it is always NOW. Their presence is always present – we are never alone! Perichoretic cHesed is a dance of expectant responsiveness.

Jesus said that his yoke is easy and his burden is light.  Jesus shares the cross/yoke that is the perfect pH for us to bear: he stoops in cHesed to bind himself to us, so that we may walk out that cHesed together as we do God’s will.

* * * * * * *

Well...my firstborn is on his way home from college for spring break.  Woo hoo! 

May you be swept up into the Great Dance, beloved....

Abi

Abi's Graphic Wound...be forewarned!

Update!  On April 11th, I was back at the "scene" with my youngest son -- and had him take pictures of the log (which is about 4' long) with a close up of the infamous "stump" that did the damage...that's his hand (which is the same size as mine) there to show you just how big that sucker is!  I am in the midst of Week 10...and the healing sure seems slow!  Months more to go....

* * * * * * *

This picture, taken on Day 5, seems to show me taking this purple martyrdom a bit too far...and the extent of this bruise grew for two more days, until it covered the entire back of my right thigh.

...but this is week six since the sledding accident that saw me impaled on the broken-off branch of a hidden log.  Lesson:  trailblazers can get hurt!

And yet, there is a deeper lesson...

...one that is learned after the bruising is gone, and the sutures are removed, and all the scabs have fallen away:  the wound that cannot be seen, yet was the deepest and most dangerous, is far from healed.

But it looks so much better!  Yeah, looks can be deceiving....

I still cannot sit down or put any pressure on the back of my right thigh.

Really...after six weeks?

The doctor says it may take three month for the internal wound to just stabilize...and six months to finish reconstruction...and nine months for full range of motion...and a year or more for strength and the lessening of the scar tissue and any accompanying adhesions. Ugh!

I have never had a wound like this...it's exhausting.  But I am going to be well in time. And I am going to remember these lessons. The sharp stabs and the aching and the shocks as nerves reconnect.  And I will marvel at the brilliance of God's creative masterpiece with humility and gratitude....

So that when I see the wounds of others, I will remember the deep pain. I will listen to their pain and frustration. I will remember how long it takes to heal.

And I will shed tears of seeing over them. So they will know they are not invisible. Their pain is seen with gentle eyes that know woundedness.

And I will not make them have to ask for my help. To see if they can do things for themselves. There will be hours and days when they have no one to pamper them...when they will have to spend so much energy just shifting to be comfortable in bed that they break out into a sweat.

No, no...love that submits to their needs with deliberate affection, and grace that serves with unmerited favor, and mercy that initiates kindness mutually owed...this is what perichoretic cHesed does when one's beloved is in need.

But more than what small comfort I can give, I hope to remind them that our amazing God -- Father, Son and Spirit -- are I AM THAT I AM. They are the Present Presence...always there with us in our pain and suffering. Not to save us from our suffering, but to walk through it with us.

* * * * * * *

You still have time, during this season of Lent, to pick up Penelope Wilcock's lovely and insightful book, The Wilderness Within You. I finished it yesterday and am going back to make notes of the many profound insights she shares. I picked up Present Presence from this book...and it has been such a bit of comfort to me! This is a woman who gets it -- and I am grateful to have her friendship.

Be blessed!

Advent with Abi -- Peace as Relational Reality

Peace ... what longing there is for peace everywhere. And yet there seems to be so little peace -- in families, in marriages, in politics, in schools, in neighborhoods, in churches, in relationships, in countries, in the world.

My little corner of the world has struggled to find peace for too many years to count. It seems that strife and heartache and brokenness overwhelms all.

But that has begun to change -- just recently, if you can believe that. And it has changed because I have finally seen the Truth that has been just out of reach ... just a bit out of focus ... just around the next corner ... just needing one more conversation ... or book or video or whatever.

That truth is what I have finally called Perichoretic cHesed.  It is the reality of the eternal relationship between  the Triune God -- Father, Jesus and Grandmother ... where there is so much unity of purpose and will that they can only be described as One, yet with no loss of their distinct individuality.  Their relationship of merciful loving-kindness dreamt up this amazing universe in order to provide a habitat for those who would bear their Image as male and female.

It is the realm of adoption, which Jesus crossed time and space to make possible by the miracle of his incarnation, life, death, resurrection and ascension. It is the mystery in which Jesus has taken his creation down in his death in order to set it free from the Death it suffered through Adam's rebellion.  It is the mystery in which we have also been raised from the dead with Jesus -- and taken up with all of creation, including all of humanity, and brought home with Jesus to be with Father and Grandmother.

But it is a reality still hindered by human blindness and stubbornness -- for until we repent and allow Grandmother to renew our minds and heal our blindness, we cannot see what Jesus has done.  We truly see through a glass darkly....

My circumstances have not changed.  All is as chaotic tonight as it was last night. But I am finally learning how to live in the space between the already adopted and the not yet fully transformed. The space where I live by the faith of Jesus, who tells me that I am included in the Perichoretic cHesed of the Three-in-One already. That I am never is a group smaller than four -- three of whom are totally dedicated to my best interest.

I do not have any peace around me.  But I dwell as sister of the Prince of Peace.  And he shares with me his peace -- one that is not as the world gives. And with my hand in his, I walk through the baby steps of my life without believing the lies that swirl all around me. I listen to his voice -- to the Truth.  I see myself and others in the brightness of the darkness-scattering Light of the World.

As I approach Christmas, I breathe in Peace as Relational Reality...and look around me to see bits of it sprouting here and there in the chaos. I do not know what the future holds, but the One that holds the future is the One that holds me tight. I am leaning into the love that brings peace to my heart and mind.

May the Breath of Peace steal sweetly over you this night and every night.

Abi

Abi has finally come Home for Christmas...

Update:  I have added the rest of the posts for the Synchroblog at the bottom.  Please do check them out as you have time.  You will be blessed!  Abi

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It has been a very long time since I participated in any Synchroblogs out there ... but I had a feeling that I might have something to say this time around.

I grew up in a pretty tight knit family -- Thanksgiving and Christmas and (usually) birthdays were always family time. Family time for our family almost always included the church family's activities ... because we were the church-planting minister's family. If we weren't there and involved, well, things didn't happen....

There are lots of ups and downs to being a PK (preacher's kid)...and this post is not going to talk about any of that. But I have to say that this Christmas will be the first year that I will really "be" home. And that will need a little unpacking....

Regulars of The Virtual Abbess will know that I have been processing heavy things for many years ... and that this past year I've been processing what I have just recently come to call Perichoretic cHesed.  The reason things have finally come together is that I have finally unpacked the last piece of the puzzle (should I more humbly say the next piece?!?) as I continue the process of reconstructing what the journey of Kingdom Life is supposed to look like -- for me, at least.

Home is where family is -- and where one is always welcome. Home always means extended family, too. While I love my biological family, I have lived very far away from them for 22 of my 57 years. Most of the past 18 years have been spent away from them as our nuclear family left Southern California for Washington State.  I had no idea how difficult raising children would be without my extended family in a church family that was not full of relatives ... or people who knew me BK (before kids).

The sad thing that I have come to realize is that I, somehow, did not carry away many "traditions" ... because they were anchored in people who were not where I was.  When I was with them, the traditions lived on. But not here.  Not at the place I called home.

As I have pondered this source of grief, it has finally occurred to me that somehow, I have never really been "home" anywhere ... because I never felt like I fit in. I was useful, most of the time. And that's part of the problem.  Rather than relational, family had turned out to be something more utilitarian. And when you are a broken down person, as I have been for much of the past 18 years, sometimes you're not as useful as folks think you should be. Maybe you no longer fill roles that have come to be expected of you -- in the way that is expected.

Yes, I actually said that out loud....

But I have been pondering a different foundation for family.  One that has been seemingly lost to much of humanity for much too long. I have found that the truest foundation for family comes from the original Family: The Holy and Eternal Trinity.

Father, Son and Holy Spirit have been recognized as the Triune God for a very long time ... but I think that the familial nature of their relationship has not been.  And I think some of that comes from the fact that many have seen the Holy Spirit as either male or gender neutral. I, however, have joined forces with some who have embraced seeing the Spirit as female -- as God our Mother ... or perhaps, as our Grandmother.  There is lots of evidence in the Hebrew for the terms used for the Spirit as being female or feminine.  We know that there are many images of God which are maternal.  I'm not going to argue that here.  You will have do your own searching.  (But both of Wm. Paul Young's books, as well as Baxter Kruger's book, The Shack:  Revisited, may help you as they have helped me.) But in order for the image and nature of God to be seen in humanity, it needed to be expressed in what we know as male and female.  Both are necessary -- one is not more important the the other.  (It seems that even in the Trinity, there only needs to be one female to two males ... please be smiling!!!)

Of course only Jesus, the Father's eternal Son, is actually human and male -- since that first Christmas so long ago.  The other two members of this triad are still whatever it is that they have all been for all eternity. We have been dressing them up in language and images that help us relate to them ... and it is only in Jesus that we have definitive answers.  So, I am finding it terribly helpful to relate to God as Father, Brother and Grandmother -- because of the reality of the new family forged in the New Covenant in Jesus Christ.

[It's okay ... no bolt of lightening has struck me.  God can handle this. It's all good.]

In this Eternal Family I have found my truest family -- the family that is always with me...from which I cannot be separated. They are the Truth about family as it is intended to be.

• I have a Father who loves me with deliberate affection regardless of what I do or don't do.  He is "especially fond of me" as Young has made so famous with his Papa from The Shack. He sees my true self and calls it out into being bit by bit -- regardless of what others think I am or should be.
• I have an Elder Brother who extends me the unmerited favor of grace because I am his little sister and he has crossed all worlds to joyfully bring me -- with  my Adoption Papers -- home to his Father and the Kingdom. He walks with me at all times -- he holds my hand (he holds everything in his hands!)
• I have a Grandmother who breathes wisdom and power on my baby steps -- while showering me with gifts of kindness and mutuality -- so that I make a difference in the family.  I have a part to play in each interaction with my brothers and sisters. I participate in the Eternal Will of God as it is lived out moment by moment. She isn't harsh with me when I don't do things "correctly" ... she is happy that I engage and embrace life.

This family reality I have described is, in essence, what I mean by perichoretic cHesed.  It is being part of the family while still being myself. It is resting -- relaxing! -- in the love of Father, the grace of Jesus, the mercy of Grandmother -- knowing that They are holding everything together, making everything work together for good, teaching me the family recipes and traditions.

This Christmas, I will be home for the first time.  I'm not quite sure exactly what it's going to be like compared with the previous 56 experiences ... but I do know that it will be filled with more hope and love and joy and peace than any Christmas I've known. I'm going to relax into it and be surprised by joy....

I am reminded of the line from Sleepless in Seattle, when Sam is describing to Dr. Marsha what it was like when he first held the hand of the woman who would become his wife:  "It was like coming home, only to no home I'd ever known."

As I finish typing this, I can almost hear them clapping and shouting:  "Welcome home, child.  We have been waiting for you for so long. Come on in and join the dancing and singing ... and you don't really need your dancing shoes anymore!"

Be blessed this Christmas -- may you find yourself coming home to no home you've ever known, too!  I'll see you there...  ;^)

Abi

* * * * * * *

Other bloggers writing so far about “coming home” this advent:

• Christine Sine - Is There Room for Jesus to Find a Home In Your Heart?
• Jeremy Myers - It Sounds Like Christmas
• Nathan Kitchen - Coming Home
• Michelle at Moments with Michelle - Home 
• Mallory Pickering - I’m Kind of Homesick 
• Bobi Ann Allen - Coming Home 
• J.A. Carter - Going Home 
• Glenn Hager - Where the Adventure Begins 
• Marta Layton - Can You Ever Come Home Again? 
• Peggy at Abisomeone - Abi Has Finally Come Home For Christmas 
• Amy Hetland - Coming Home 
• Coffeesnob - Home 
• Carol Kuniholm - Advent Three: Redefining Home 
• Liz Dyer - Advent 2013 The Way Home 
• Harriet Long - The Body and the Sacred: Coming Home 
• Edwin Pastor Fedex Aldrich - Who I Was Made to Be 
• Emkay Anderson - Homemaking
• Anita Coleman - At Home in the Kingdom of God
• Kathy Escobar – Mobile Homes (Not That Kind) 

Advent with Abi -- Joy as Wholehearted Response

The third week of Advent begins ... and I'm working through Baxter Kruger's books again, now that I have finished listening to so many hours of his lectures.  Reading the books, I hear him and his wonderful Mississippi accent in my head....  :^)

During the time I've been reading and listening to and meeting Baxter this past year, I've also been watching and listening to Brene Brown talk about courage and vulnerability and wholeheartedness. Their messages have arrived at just the right time -- kairos time -- when I was both in need of the message and able to hear and receive the message. What a blessing....

I was struck this morning as I was reading ... struck at how much power we give to the lies that are whispered around and about us ... rather than believing Jesus and his Father and the Holy Spirit. The darkness of our fallen minds, Baxter says, makes sense to us.  The amazing perichoretic cHesed of the blessed Trinity -- well, it doesn't make sense to us at all.  Not unless we repent of our fallen and darkened wrongheadedness!  Lord, have mercy!

At this third week of Advent -- as the darkness is starting to lift because of the approaching birth of the Light of the World -- I found a small trickle of joy welling up in my soul. As I have walked along with Jesus, choosing to side with him against the lies of "I am not", I have a new kind of courage growing.  The courage to tell the story of who I am with my whole heart. (Thank you, Brene, for these words!)  And I find that the telling of this story an act of joy.

Joy is the fruit of courage, it seems.  We know that it is a fruit of the Spirit, too...but I find the telling of the story of who I really am with my whole heart cannot be told without joy.  I think this is because those willing to risk sharing their whole heart -- not just the good stuff and not just the bad stuff, but the good and bad stuff along with the hard but important stuff makes up the whole.  And Father, Son and Spirit love the whole me...not just the nice shiny parts....

C.S. Lewis wrote a book called Surprised by Joy ... and I am beginning to understand that a bit better today.

This week, as you ponder the Joy of Jesus -- Father's Eternal Son Incarnate -- may you find that his joy is your joy, too.  That his truth is your truth. That his peace is your peace. That his courage is your courage. That his faith is your faith.  Because everything that he shares with the Father in the Spirit is yours -- if you will radically reorient your mind and believe that what Jesus has said and done is actually, finally, totally, joyously TRUE.

Joy to the world!  The Lord has come.  Let earth receive her King!

Be blessed....

Abi

Advent with Abi -- Love as Perichoretic cHesed

Today I finished the 33rd and final lecture in Baxter Kruger's The Big Picture series.  Took me about five weeks. Wow ... thanks so much, Baxter, for sharing your passion! Now I need to go back and re-read all of his books -- I have a much better perspective for them now.

It has been through Baxter's goal to make perichoresis a household word that I found the perfect pairing for making cHesed a household word:  make them a household phrase!  :^)  I have already blogged about that some.  Please see this post.

But for today, as we begin the second week of Advent, it is time to talk of Love.  But the full, deep love that is perichoretic cHesed.  The eternal love that Father, Son and Spirit -- the blessed Trinity -- dwell in together.  Love that is other centered and self-giving ... the eternal reality out of which came Creation, and it's crowning glory, Humanity.

As Baxter has hammered into my brain over the past year, to say the name of Jesus is to say that the Trinity and Humanity now dwell together. Forever.  Begun before creation, incubated in the Old Covenant, brought forth from the virgin Mary, hammered out as the babe grew into a man, shown to those who had eyes to see in the years of open ministry, Jesus was fully God and fully Human.  The only fully human person ever to live. And in his willing death at the bitter hands of his fellow humans, Jesus entered fully into human darkness -- felt all the pain and agony and loneliness and blindness -- and took creation down with him in death.  He did this so that the Father could raise us up with Jesus from the dead and so that Jesus could take us home to our Father's side with the Deed of  Adoption signed in his own blood.  Done deal.

This is the Gospel.  The Good News.  The news that too many have not yet seen in their blindness or heard above the deafening cacophony of their own ideas about who God is and who they are and who others think they are supposed to be ... and how are they going to find a way to make it through another dark and lonely day all on their own....

* * * * * * *

It is all good and well to talk about the love of the Trinity being other centered and self giving.  But I believe that there is a richer concept that comes to us from the Hebrew language -- just as the beautiful word perichoresis comes to us from the Greek language.  If you know anything about me, you know that this concept is hidden in the gem of cHesed ... merciful loving-kindness.

You could read quite a long time on my blog if you looked up all the posts on cHesed...which would not be a bad use of time.  I have mentioned before that there are many things I've written about over the past seven years that I would need to tweak considerably.  And cHesed needs a bit of that as well.

I have begun this tweaking with this labeled and colored version of the ancient Celtic Trinity Knot.

Just as we see the interpenetrating, looping reality of Father, Son and Holy Spirit, you will see the ring of gold that encircles them.  I have labeled this ring with the three descriptors of cHesed:  love, grace and mercy.  But underneath these three are three others: submit, serve and lead.

To say that Father, Son and Spirit live in an unbroken dance of love -- so much so that the foundational description of God is love -- is saying much more than the western mind has generally had the tools to grasp. This has led me on a twenty year quest to, as it were, redeem the word "love" from the too-often shallow usage to which western civilization has adhered.

Trinitarian cHesed is a Love of deliberate affection that submits its wants to the needs of the beloved ... it is a Grace of unmerited favor that serves the best interest of the beloved without thought of repayment ... it is a Mercy of kindness mutually owed that initiates and leads the beloved in ways that move toward the accomplishment of their mutual goal.  In this circle there is no competition or hierarchy or envy. Their's is a unity of such togetherness that the only way to describe it is to say that these Three are One!

It is descriptive enough to show us what it actually means to say that God IS Love.  That the Trinity have lived in this amazing relationship from all Eternity ... and that They have desired to share this love in and through their creation -- and especially in Humanity.

Their desire to share their love with Humanity was so strong that the Father's Eternal Son decided that, for the remainder of Eternity, he would live as the Human Man named Jesus ... Emmanuel -- God with us!  And in this form, Jesus entered into a New Covenant with God as the representative of Humanity ... resulting in our Adoption -- joint heirs of God with Jesus.

* * * * * * *

While I am yet a long way from distilling this down, what I hope to leave you with this week is the assurance that this cHesed -- the merciful loving-kindness of Father, Son and Spirit -- is the gift that God has been showing Humanity from the very start.  And that this gift has been permanently given to Humanity in the New Covenant in Jesus.  You and me -- we all are already completely loved and adopted by Father, where we may dwell with him and Jesus in the fellowship of the Spirit.

May you have eyes to see this love all around you in the beauty of Creation -- in the heavens and on the earth and in your adopted brothers and sisters all around you.

May you have ears to hear this Good News of love and adoption in Jesus ... all ready finished and just waiting for you to recognize.

May you rest -- truly rest and relax -- in this knowledge of God's love made flesh in Jesus. This is the only healing balm for your soul sickness.  Nothing else matters if you are blind and deaf to the Love Song of the Trinity.

Be blessed, adelphoi -- brothers and sisters in Christ Jesus.  I am grateful to have your fellowship on the journey in the Kingdom.

Abi

Abi and Brokenness....

Updated...see below!

I have written about Oprah a couple of times.  I have tremendous respect for her, although I do not agree with everything she says or does.  That's normal, I think.  If you have problems with Oprah, I humbly ask you to suspend disbelief (J.R.R. Tolkien's lovely term) long enough to hear what I'm saying.  You'll be okay.

Anyway, today's lead article in her Spirit Newsletter struck me as timely.  It came as an answer to a fervent prayer.  It is not perfect, either; but it gave me several bits of encouragement.  These I will share with you. Some come right out of the article, others are my thoughts that came from reading.  Please read the original article first, if you haven't already ... the rest of this post will still be here when you get back.  Go ahead; it's not very long.  ;^)

Here's the stream of consciousness that made me get out my pen and paper and capture some thoughts:

• Everyone is broken from time to time.  Um, this would resonate with the abbess of the purple martyrdom.
• Breaking is necessary for enlargement.  I could write an entire series on this profound thought.
• Enlargement comes by being present in all ways, in all directions. I struggle with this and I am astounded by the variety of ways this little gem keeps popping up in my journey.
• Being present is the practice of holding nothing back.  Dr. Brown would call this part of the courage that comes from being wholehearted.  Her thoughts have been echoing Dr. Kruger's thoughts, especially his teaching on the "I am not..." problem, which she states as "Never enough."  Profound.

He then gives four steps to finding wholeness and health and growth:

Accept the weather

• It is what it is....
• Every "crack" is an opening
• ...The Light of Jesus, there in the deepest darkness in our souls, shines out through our cracks.  Makes me think of this passage.
• ...What is opened is always more important that what breaks us.
• ...Don't get stuck in your list of legitimate grievances.  Yeah, this is very big.

Lean into the tender places

• Letting the wind of life rush in and tough the tender spots is the beginning of resilience.  This is very deep and I'm still processing it....

What kind of "part" am I in what kind of "whole"?  This is the whole "identity crisis" issue, right here!

• My response:  I am a daughter of the Heavenly Father, sister to Jesus, the Father's Eternal Son, and dancing partner with the Holy Spirit in the Life of the Blessed Trinity.
• This Truth is foundational and is what has been undermined by the "I am not..." and "Never enough" curse of human culture.  Sigh...it is pernicious!
• When blinded by the pain and darkness, I need to remember to look for the Light shining through those broken, cracked spots.
• ...Embrace what can emerge by allowing Jesus to clean away the broken bits.
• ...Sometimes we emerge like those beautiful Oriental bowls that have been repaired with gold....
• ...Sometimes we emerge like butterflies struggling to escape from their cocoon. Transformation is often mistaken for rejection or heresy by those who do not have eyes to see what the Spirit has been doing.

Look beyond the broken

• In each of us, the Holy Spirit has planted a unique seed.  Different seeds go through different processes of germination.  They remain dormant until the time and environment are right ... the fullness of time, as it were.
• ...what is too dry for some is just right for others
• ...what is to warm for some is not hot enough for others
• ...what is nutrient-dense to some is too rich for others

Sometimes I think I am one of those seeds that need a hot fire to neutralize my cocoon of enzymes and allow the seed to germinate.  Yeah, burning down the forest is not a good time. but if that is the only way to awaken the sleeping life inside my soul....

Be blessed as you persevere on your journey.  

• May the Light shine through the cracks of your broken heart. 

• May the Light that is in you overpower the whispered evil of the "I am not...never enough" that has flourished in your darkened soul.

• May the sweet burn of the cleaning pool restore you to your True Identity after Aslan's powerfully sharp claws have torn away the knobby dragon hide that imprisoned you.  Love C.S. Lewis!  Do you know Eustace?  (And, yes, I will forever be sorry that they did not put that powerful scene in the movie of The Voyage of the Dawn Treader....)   Update:  you can listen to the chapter here!

• May the great I AM embrace you in Their cHesed and gently lead you into Their Great Dance.

Abi and Perichoretic cHesed

You've listened to me talk for quite a while now about Dr. C. Baxter Kruger. I just listened to the recordings from the North Carolina Open Table Conference (from Labor Day weekend) ... and he said that it has been his goal for the last few decades to make the Greek word perichoresis a household word. Well, I have had a similar goal these past 15 years -- to make the Hebrew term cHesed a household word.

Baxter defines perichoresis basically as mutual indwelling without loss of identity. He goes on to say that perichoresis is the reality of the interpenetrating relationship of Father, Son and Holy Spirit. They are three who have always been one -- they are "in" each other without becoming each other.  They are so together that they can only be described as One.  The Trinity -- three who are one.

From all eternity they have dwelt together -- and together they dreamed of sharing the wonder of their life -- which Baxter calls The Great Dance -- together with us...even before the Cosmos was created!

The great Good News is that, after all the years of waiting and wading through the chaos of human blindness and darkness brought on by The Fall, in the fullness of time, they accomplished their dream of our adoption in and through the Incarnation of Jesus, the Father's eternal Son, by the power of the Holy Spirit. Through his death, burial, resurrection and ascension, Jesus has gathered all of humanity -- indeed, the entire Creation -- and brought us with him into their relationship. We are in Jesus -- and they are in us.  Done deal.

Many people do not yet know this Good News.  This does not change the Reality, however!

Baxter suggests that the relationship that is perichoresis is one of altruism -- other-centered, self-giving, mutual submission.  But I believe that it is in describing the actions of this relationship that the beautiful concept of cHesed serves more fully.

Most often translated as loving-kindness or mercy, I define cHesed (following Dr. Mont Smith) as looking out for the best interest of the other, according to the covenant. While that may sound like altruism, it is a much richer concept.  cHesed was too rich for just a single Greek word...and so the Septuagint and the New Testament use a variety of words to describe the covenant keeping attitudes and actions of cHesed -- love (agape) as deliberate affection that submits to the need of the other, grace (charis) as unmerited favor that serves the best interest of the other, and mercy (eleos) as kindness mutually owed that leads the other toward success.  And that not all there is to this beautiful concept....

Who knew that they would merge, these two foundational words!?!  Below is crude drawing of what is known as the Trinity Knot.  I have colored and labeled it to help me get my brain around this ... and perhaps help you see what I'm talking about more clearly.

I can't tell you the number of different diagrams I've played with these many years to try to capture the essence of cHesed. Now that my mind has been reconnected with the Good News of the Blessed Trinity through the beauty of perichoresis, it was obvious where cHesed fit.  Thank you, Baxter!

We will have plenty more to unpack, don't worry!  But this weary abbess is finished for today....

Be blessed ...

Abi, Paul, Timothy...and subtle humor

Today, I have my dear brother in Christ, Len Hjalmarson, to thank for the inspiration behind this post.  He Tweeted a link to his post that collects important links concerning women in ministry.  Please take a look...particularly at the link to Don Rousu's post, since it is the one that provided my "missing link" moment!

If you have been following me for any length of time, you will have come to learn about my friend and mentor, S. Scott Bartchy...who was gracious enough to preach at my ordination 18 years ago.  His scholarship and friendship over the past 33 years has been so very important to me.  For this post, it is timely to link to this important post of Scott's from two years ago. While his post concerns Paul's letter to Philemon, the importance of what he calls "deep contexting" in paragraph 2.12 is so very important ... and is the point where translators so often fail us.

Go ahead and read it ... I'll be here when you come back.

You will see that Don Rousu has provided a bit of "deep contexting" for the tension-filled text found in 1Timothy 2:11-15.  I'm going to connect it to some teaching I heard and synthesized from Scott and others over the years.  I am sorry that I do not have links.  I am grateful that all the pieces fell into place for me today...even with a sluggish brain.  I only hope to challenge you with another view.

I'm going to start with the end and work my way forward.  To prepare for this, I ask that you follow J. R. R. Tolkien's sage advice to those who would read imaginative works:  suspend your disbelief long enough to enter into the story so as to experience it as the author intended.  Listen all the way through.  Hear the whole tale.  Could it possibly be true?

Ready?

My paraphrase of 1 Timothy 2:11-15, inspired by The Voice, adapted from the New Century Version and building on the deep contexting of Rousu and Bartchy, goes like this: 


¹¹ Let that woman who is troubling your congregation learn by listening quietly and being ready to cooperate in everything. ¹² But I do not allow such a woman to teach or claim that a woman was the originator of or superior to a man, but want her to learn the truth peacefully, ¹³ because Adam was formed first and then Eve. ¹⁴ And Adam was not tricked, but Eve was tricked and became a sinner. ¹⁵ But that woman will be saved through The Childbearing if she continues in faith, love, and holiness, with self-control.

Need to take a deep breath or two?

It is important to remember a couple of things right off the bat:  this is considered to be a personal letter from Paul to Timothy -- probably a response to a letter from Timothy concerning his ministry in Ephesus.  It is full of insider information and context to which Timothy would have been totally aware.  Timothy would have been completely familiar with Paul's style of rhetoric and his use of humor and other "clever" speech.

The deep context Rousu provides is critical here concerning the culture in Ephesus regarding Artemis/Diana, as interpreted by the Gnostics.  What possibly was being taught by "that woman", among other things, was that women were superior to men because Eve was created first and that, being the Mother of All, she birthed Adam on her own -- with no need of a man. She possibly went further to claim that Eve was the "illuminator" who received "knowledge" from the Serpent and shared it with Adam.  So, they revered the Serpent as the Savior revealer of Truth.

Ugh...the twisting of Truth always comes from reading our own context into the Text, without regard for the deeper context.  This is why it is so important for those who teach to have learned in quietness and cooperation first.  It is just as difficult a task today as it was then.  Sigh....

So here we have Paul, responding to his "son in the Faith" with insightful encouragement and a bit of wit:

• All, men and women, are to be encouraged to learn the Truth in a posture of humility.
• Those who teach falsehoods are to be stopped gently and taught the Truth more fully.
• Just as in Corinth, those in Ephesus had problems with Jesus' new paradigms that subvert their ideas of power and patriarchy. They did not know how to embrace their new situation as brothers and sisters -- joint heirs of God in Jesus.  Where no man is called Father but God and no one is Lord but Jesus.
• As Paul said in 1Corinthians 11 (another passage requiring "deep contexting" and rarely getting it), Adam was created first -- and Eve came from him.  But Adam came from Christ, who created everything.  And Christ comes from God, as the Only Begotten. And now every man comes from a woman in the process of childbirth. It is not about power and hierarchy and authority and subordination, but simply about source in the perichoretic Circle of Life.
• Because Eve did not have enough education, she was tricked by the Serpent and sinned.  There is lots of room to wonder why Adam didn't speak up to defend her ... or why he had not educated her properly ... and, in the end, he went along and ate, too.  The point is to teach well -- without improper embellishment --  and correct error gently as it crops up.
• And in a delicious twist of humor, Paul reminds Timothy that salvation comes -- to that woman (and all humanity) -- through Jesus, who actually was born of a woman (The Childbearing) without the aid of a man!  That woman, if she continues to learn the Truth in faith, love and holiness, with self-control, will be saved.  As will we all....

So there you have it. 

I fully realize that there are a great many scholars who would not agree with me.  Listening for humor, irony, quotations -- this is difficult work in Koine Greek and First Century context.  But we must continue -- especially with the difficult passages that seem out of step with the rest of what Paul teaches and what Jesus lived.  We must all determine that we will learn in quietness of spirit and a humble heart that is open to the Spirit's still, small voice speaking the Truth that will set us free.

I hope that you were able to process this wee post with your disbelief suspended.  I pray that we will allow the Spirit to continue to lead us all into All Truth.  I yearn for the day when we can all truly be brothers and sisters in Jesus, sharing the Good News with those around us that our Father has already adopted them too...even if they don't know it yet! 

Be blessed!

Abi and The Open Table Conference

It has been almost seven years since I attended the Missional Orders conference at Seabeck, Washington -- out of which this blog was birthed!  To say that I have gone through enormous changes during these seven years would be the grossest of understatements.

What is interesting, though, it to see how much I "knew" -- even just a few months ago, even -- that seems, well, rather Greek in it's knowing about ... instead of Hebrew and it's knowing by experience. We never do stop growing in our understanding.  There is so much to be experienced on this journey in Jesus -- in ways that we have not experienced before.  I am learning, still, to relax....

I spent this past weekend in Oregon's central desert with an interesting and eclectic group of folks at The Open Table Conference.  This was my first conference since Seabeck ... and it was just as (if not more, actually) life changing.

I did not know what to expect.  I only knew that Papa was asking me to just go.  I'm not sure exactly what my expectations were, but I tried to lean into the living verb and wait in expectancy for what Grandmother had waiting for me.

One of the things I learned at Seabeck, which was sponsored by Alan Roxburg's Allelon, was the importance of listening to one another.  (Allelon is Greek for "one another".)  They had a saying that remains so meaningful to me:  "Listening one another into free speech."

I don't know about you, but sometimes this very extroverted Abbess doesn't really know what she thinks about something until she is able to talk out loud.  This requires someone to listen.  And we humans tend to be less than stellar listeners.  Sigh....

One of the things I received this past weekend was the opportunity to listen and be listened to.

First thing Saturday morning, I was talking with Marilyn and Gordon ... and the next thing I knew, I was telling them things most would not be comfortable hearing.  Especially as related to my string of horrible injuries leading up the the last one four years ago.  The one I affectionately call The Fall...

Marilyn's ears perked up and she said:  "You haven't had just a concussion.  You have a TBI."  She and Gordon began to ask about problems that I was having without my saying anything.  Wow...it is truly rare to talk with someone who knows what I'm dealing with.  Their son fell from a horse 17 years ago, and they have been walking this harrowing journey with him.  Their encouragement alone made the trip worthwhile....

The worst part of most of my injuries has been that they are not necessarily visible -- or not for long.  But the cumulative effect of these injuries over the past 13 years has been fairly overwhelming ... because folks have a hard time understanding that the process of healing can be very slow.  I am in year four of this particular mid-brain TBI ... and have realized that I had suffered seven head injuries in my life -- at least two of which would also be considered mild TBIs.  It sometimes takes 10 years for even a mild TBI to resolve.  If you know someone suffering this way, be gentle with them....

Under the wonderful care of my homeopath and my chiropractic neurologist, I have truly made remarkable progress.  But I have come to a kind of crossroad of my own:  my level of stress has been so high that my brain is unable to heal...and it actually being damaged by the over-stimulation that comes from being in a fairly constant mode of Fight or Flight.  The reasons are many and I'll not burden you with them...but I did have to do something to bring the stress down.

Into this place of chaos, Papa brought Baxter Kruger and his series called "In".  I have already shared about his amazing book, The Shack Revisited.  Now he has released his Study Guide.  I can't wait to work through it!

Anyway, please download his "In" series -- I don't know how long it will remain up on his website -- I have been listening to it since the end of February.  Sometimes daily.  Do this while you're waiting for your copy of the book to be delivered (unless, like me, you got the Kindle version)....

Building on the important work of Wayne Jacobsen, Paul's and Baxter's work have helped Sarayu make another significant shift in my journey.  What I so appreciate about all three of these men is that they are humble and hold their knowledge and experience gently.  They want to encourage you in your journey with Father, Son and Spirit -- they don't want to be your leader.

Baxter, in person and in his writings, is my kind of folk:  say it simple with as little religious jargon as possible.  Having listened to him for so long, I can "hear" him in his books.  Love that....  I am so very grateful for you, Brother Baxter!

Anyway ... I am processing so much right now that I am a bit in overload -- and my brain is complaining!  But I did want to post this update and let you know how grateful I am for the faithful cHesed of the blessed Trinity.

More later....

...oh, yeah -- my eldest son graduates from high school this Friday, so it's a little busy around here.

Be blessed!