It was the best of times; it was the worst of times....

The best thing about blogs is that they connect people. The worst thing about blogs is that they disconnect people.

Huh?!?

Well, the great thing about blogs is that you have the wonderful opportunity to meet and converse with people whom you would never have the opportunity to hang with IRL (or, in real life, as I've recently learned). You come together because of any number of commonalities. I visit blogs of brothers and sisters in Christ with whom I am trying to share "the adventure that Aslan sends," as it were. Our main commonality is devotion to Christ as Lord and a desire to love God and love others--living the Jesus Creed, as Scot McKnight would say. (BTW, I get my connection to the wilder world through my amazing brother, Matt Stone...thanks, Matt!)

And this is a really, really great thing that blogs do. Really great!

The challenge, as always, is the loving of others who are, well, other. As in, not like me. In my case that would be the vast majority of people I meet IRL, much less on the Net....

So, the worst thing about blogs is how easy it is to disconnect when the "honeymoon" is over. When the struggle to stay connected begins to make your stomach churn as your "otherness" really starts showing. You face the moment of truth when you wonder whether your blog buddies will ditch you when they get to know the real you.

Sigh...and we thought this was over after getting through middle school...or high school...or after we got married...or after the kids are in school all day, or with your new small group or church or pastor. Whatever....you fill in the blank__________________.

Nope. None of the challenges of risky relational transparency are ever over...as long as there are still people around. Last time I checked, that still applied to me. And so I am left with the same old dilemma: what am I going to do about it?

This is my starting list of things to do:

• If I want to be heard, I'm going to have to really learn the lessons about listening.
  
• If I want to be understood, I'm going to have to do a better job of thinking about what I mean and saying it plainly and clearly--no jargon, no assumptions, no generalizations.
• If I want to be part of the solution, I'm going to have to choose not to be part of the problem.

So, what is the problem?

In my book it's a failure to speak truth in love. Speaking my best understanding of what the truth of any given topic or situation is in a way that is respectful of the view of the other. Speaking in a tone that will allow others to hear me long enough to choose to really listen. Inviting feedback so that I can ensure that what I mean is what is being understood. Asking clarifying questions that show I really want to understand. Restraining myself from engaging in any and all forms of reactionary assumption or judgment or sterotyping...as well as sarcasm that targets a precious Eikon/bearer of the very image of God.

More lessons of the Purple Martyrdom, I guess...and a reminder from MO Blogger Andrew about the reality of owning the name The Ugly Blogger. I told him in Seabeck that I was struck by his chapter (with that very name) in the Wikiklesia Project's Volume One. It was a private moment for confession to him that I make public here: I, too, have been The Ugly Blogger. And Andrew, I'm hoping you will forgive me for the tinge of it that showed on your blog yesterday. I will learn this lesson in restraint...I will! Thank you for being a person of shalom.

But I choose to step away from those images. (You really do need to get this book and read it--lots of great insights from a wide variety of authors. Click on the Wikiklesia link in the sidebar.) I want all that I am and have and say and do to bring glory, not shame, to my Lord.

Now that I have my own blog, I need to say the things that define who I am and what I am about here in my space and in my time and according to my outline...and quit blog-clogging elsewhere. (Except, of course, at Alan's TFW blog...I am free to be me here and there!)

...so if you're interested in what The Abbess thinks and does, know that you are welcome to journey here in safety--well, the kind of safety that comes from speaking the truth in love, that is. Safe to listen and be listened to...to be and to allow...to learn and to teach.

But beware of Aslan...while not always "safe," he is always good. And the "Lucy" in me always wants to answer his call to follow--even if no one else can see or hear him.

Be blessed.

Have you joined the onehitwonder phenemenon?

What's a dollar worth to you?

Currently 729 million people have internet access. Imagine if just 1% of these people were willing to get involved & give one dollar. That would amount to over 7 million dollars to give away. Not bad for a measly dollar!

Yesterday, Alan Hirsch tagged me to become a part of the onehitwonder phenemon. As I have been pondering the day...Reformation Day and all...it seemed like this was an appropriate thing to do and to extend the challenge to anyone visiting the Abbess...so I did--and I am.

• Check it out and if you're inspired, then please participate.
• Then spread the word by passing it on...it only takes a spark... (sorry, I am old ;^) and I always liked that song)

The extra great thing that they do after you donate is provide an opportunity for you to designate where your dollar will be spent and what kind of donation you want to support (food, clothing, medicine, education, micro-loans, etc.)

These people have their priorities straight. May God inspire his children everywhere with generous "virtual" hearts!

...freely you have received, freely give....

Why Abbess instead of Mother Superior?

A number of us have been having a bit of fun over at Alan Hirsch's blog and in Comment # 17 Alan said:

Hey Pegs, instead of Abbess, perhaps Mother Superior is better. Just a thought! You really are superior!

And while I appreciate Alan’s kind words of encouragement, this seemed to be the right time to share a wee history lesson with those of you who have wondered about the whole “abbess” thing.

First of all, you will see that the role of Abbess is really the same as Mother Superior. However, I loved this part of the Wikipedia article:

Historically, in some Celtic monasteries abbesses presided over joint-houses of monks and nuns, the most famous example being St. Brigid's leadership in the founding of the monastery at Kildare. This custom accompanied Celtic monastic missions to France and Spain, and even to Rome itself. At a later period, in 1115, Robert, the founder of Fontevraud Abbey near Chinon and Saumur, France, committed the government of the whole order, men as well as women, to a female superior.

I was especially pleased to see that Robert of Arbrissel had the good sense to commit the governance of the entire order to a woman. And, having had the good sense to marry a forward-thinking Robert myself, this seemed especially fortuitous….

The article about the Fontevraud Abbey contains some important family history for me:

First this:

The abbey was a double monastery, with both monks and nuns on the same site. The order became an international success. There were several "Fontevrist" abbeys set up in England. Robert of Arbrissel declared that the leader of the order should always be a woman and appointed Petronille de Chemillé as the first abbess. She was succeeded by Isabella d'Anjou, the aunt of Henry II of England.

And then, this:

In the early years the Plantagenets were great benefactors of the abbey and while Isabella d'Anjou was abbess, Henry II's wife Eleanor of Aquitaine became a nun there.

This is all especially significant to me because my father’s family is able to trace our roots back through Henry II and Eleanor of Aquitaine…as well as through many other European Royal and Noble families—including many of the Saxon Kings, of whom Alfred the Great is one of my favorites.

And so it seemed appropriate to me that, as the fortunate wife of a mutuality-in-equality minded Robert, this Margaret (duly ordained to the Christian Ministry and descendent of Eleanor of Aquitaine) should be an Abbess instead of a Mother Superior.

And there you have it.

The Anthem of the Purple Martyrdom....

The Abbess extends an invitation to dwell in this meditation with her...does anyone know if this piece has been put to music? I would love to sing this with my children.

SARANAM (REFUGE)

Receive our thanks
for night and day,
for food and shelter,
rest and play.
Be here our guest,
and with us stay,

saranam, saranam, saranam.

For this small earth
of sea and land,
for this small space
on which we stand,
for those we touch
with heart and hand,

saranam, saranam, saranam.

In the midst of foes
I cry to Thee,
from the ends of earth,
wherever I may be,
My strength in helplessness,
oh, answer me!

saranam, saranam, saranam.

Make my heart to grow
as great as Thine,
so through my hurt
Your love may shine,
my love be Yours,
Your love be mine,

saranam, saranam, saranam.

For those who've gone,
for those who stay,
for those to come,
following the Way,
be guest and guide
both night and day,

saranam, saranam, saranam.

Thanks, Northumbria, for this wonderful resource. May God bless you for your hospitality.

UPDATE: 10/31/07 I looked at this today and a little tune began to form in my mind--this is very unusual for the Abbess--and so I made a little recording of it so I wouldn't forget it. I would share it with you, but am too inept to figure out how to do that...God is being both merciful to you and to me in this, most likely.... If you want to get the wav file and get out your guitar (or whatever instrument(s) you have) and collect some singers in order to do it up as an MP3 file, just let me know! That would be awesome!

The Caring, Compassion, and Charity Meme....

My friend and fellow Wikiklesia Contributor, Ed Brenegar, tagged me with a meme on Caring, Compassion, and Charity. The instructions were:

In a new blog post, list and write about the top 1 or 2 causes that simply make your palms sweat, your heart bleed, and send tears rolling down your cheeks. Make sure you tell everyone why this cause is so important to you as an individual.

I have been pondering this, wondering what to say—waiting for the swirling mass of things that touch my heart to settle. And out of that mass, the one that floated to the top surrounds the dearth of truly Christ-like servant leadership in the church.

Not that there aren’t many fine leaders out there—laying down their lives and giving their all for the sake of the call. But there aren’t enough to go around—and too many of the ones we have don’t seem to be actively apprenticing those who will serve with them and rise up to take their places. (This post could probably be classified as a borderline R2A2…)

When I see leadership in the church that runs the gamut from spiritual neglect to spiritual abuse, my palms sweat with a mixture of pain and fear. Pain for clueless leaders doing the best they can without proper training or guidance—and for the many followers wounded by those who unwittingly misrepresent God’s will and God’s way. Fear for the damage done to both the leaders and followers who collectively make up Christ’s Bride—as well as to Christ’s reputation in the world.

My heart bleeds for church leaders, paid and volunteer, who are taken advantage of, used up, and discarded—exhausted, embarrassed, angry—with no thought as to how they might yet be able to serve in God’s Kingdom after they have somehow managed to fail. One after another they submit to this cyclical abuse out of ignorance and a faulty sense of loyalty…and then just seem to slink away, crushed. The walking wounded, collateral damage of the most tragic kind of friendly fire.

Tears roll down my cheeks as I watch them try to smile and rationalize how God has called them to something or somewhere else. And all the while they are held hostage to a mistaken sense of long-suffering and duty to keep a unified face—keeping up appearances, don’t you know.

Not that I don’t value unity, now. Far from it! What I don’t value is intimidation or domination or fear masquerading as unity…or love…or leadership. And, remember, I’m not talking about leaders who lose their First Love through pride and arrogance and ambition—intentionally and selfishly taking advantage of everyone and everything in order to get—and stay—on top.

I’m crying for the precious members of the Body of Christ who have been brainwashed into accepting this methodology as God-honoring and appropriate. The brothers and sisters who have abdicated their responsibilities as members of the Royal Priesthood of the Saints of God for the safety and comfort to be found along the path of least resistance called submission and obedience—to men rather than to God.

You may be thinking, “Gee, I thought this was supposed to be about caring and compassion and charity?” It is…but it’s more a story of Tough Love.

If you’ve been following my stories about Irina and the women political prisoners with her in the Small Zone, you may be able to understand that this is currently leading me to a boiling point concerning true love for your neighbor as your self. The kind that refuses to allow self and others to be treated contrary to God’s law. The kind that sees covenant-breaking as missing the mark—that’s right, as SIN!

The prisoners of the Small Zone were successful in breaking down their captors and gaining their freedom—and inspiring those around them in prison and in the free world—by being willing to stand together for each other against those who broke the law—the laws that applied to prisoners. When their rights were trespassed against, they banded together and agreed upon the action they would take—whether it be a hunger strike, letters of complaint, or smuggled news to the outside world.

I am not suggesting that the situation in most churches is this dire. Nor am I suggesting that the needed response from most church members be this intense. But I am suggesting that there needs to be a day of reckoning in churches where the leadership has been empowered by the members to neglect their responsibilities to truly love and equip the saints for the work of ministry in favor of out-sourcing, efficiency, balanced budgets and a façade of unity.

Jesus Christ, our Victorious Lord, has set us free from bondage to sin and death…and I weep for my brothers and sisters who have accepted the shackles of institutional and hierarchical ease and comfort built on intimidation and domination rather than embrace the dying to self that comes with learning to speak the truth in love.

Onto this river of burning tears, God has set afloat the vision for CovenantClusters—where loving and truth-speaking disciples equip disciples to make disciples. I am drawing up the plans to form the life and rhythm of the community, eager to welcome the companions God is preparing to join me in this journey. God help me build strong sails and learn to set them wisely so as to be propelled forward by the wind of the Holy Spirit…even as St. Brendan set out, praying: “O Christ, will You help me on the wild waves?”

The Abbess says a hushed "Amen" and ponders...now, whom shall she tag? Ah, yes...these three will do nicely:

Matt Stone

Brad Sargent

Janet Woodlock

Righteously Ranting Abbess Alert—R2A2

I have been feeling the stirrings of the Holy Rebel that has manifested itself on more than one occasion over at TFW…in conjunction with all this processing about martyrdom and Irina and Grey and Purple. Two things have triggered it today. And since MO Blogger Glenn thinks I'm blogging like a wild woman, I'll try to live up to it....

[Whoa, stop the presses!

Hurray!

Please pause for a small moment of rejoicing with The Abbess, who has just figured out how to make links. :^)

Thank you...hope springs eternal that I'll get it together sooner than later!

And now, back to our regularly scheduled program.]

The first is a conversation about tempers and righteous anger resulting in comment #11 in this TFW thread. The second is a comment by Brad in my P2M3 Thread.

Okay…yes, I am an acronym freak—comes from all those years in aerospace, where you could have an entire conversation in acronyms. I’m just not up on all the blogospheric ones…but I’m trying to learn as I go. Feel free to help The Abbess along. ;^)

So, here are two of the ones I’m making up today:

R2A2 = Righteously Ranting Abbess Alert (This will become a new searchable category label.)

When you see a post begin with R2A2, it isn’t about R2D2’s sister or anything like that. It will, however, be something that I feel strongly about that will be focused on what I am going to do about it in my sphere of influence, rather than ranting about what someone else is, isn’t, or should be doing.

P2M = This represents the topic of the different threads in the Processing Purple Martyrdom series. If it has a number after it, that refers to the number in the series, as in the P2M3 thread linked above.

So stay tuned…take a look at the links above…and be prepared for the next R2A2!

Be blessed.

Processing the Purple Martyrdom 3

I finished Irina's amazing book, Grey is the Color of Hope, just before noon today…the boys are visiting Grandma and Grandpa today…and have a few more comments to share. I am, however, unwilling to share too much. It is important to read the book and experience it for yourselves.

And I can see that this will be a book to be added to the few that I read again and again, every few years. I have decided that this is a book for my eldest son to read. Irina’s horrific story is told gently enough not to be too overwhelming to my soon-to-be-teenager. And we have been struggling somewhat with the concept of need versus want…as well as the importance of the three brothers sticking together and loving one another.

What I find most striking about the “subversives” in Irina’s Small Zone is that as they engage in their hunger and work strikes, they do not judge those who do not participate, nor do they do physical damage to other people or their property. Their own bodies and possessions bear the brunt of the weight of their convictions—willing to suffer as doves and serpents. Harmless as doves, yes, but clearly as clever as serpents. “Heaping burning coals on their heads,” indeed!

If the Purple Martyrdom is the embracing of any and all weakness in order to be able to experience God's strength, then the willingness to view "annoyances" through different lenses presents a number of challenges to daily life.

Here’s an example of one of our more mundane issues that slapped me right in the face.

Dandelions.

Dandelions? What?!

Yes, dandelions—those scourges of our well-manicured lawns. But also that most favorite bouquet from child to mother. And the source of so much running and blowing and squealing with delight as the tiny seed parachutes catch the wind and go on their way…mostly into the pristine yard of the neighbor….

The women in the Small Zone, as I mentioned previously, were not allowed a vegetable garden. They were also not allowed medicine. But as they quietly cultivated a variety of flowers, with illegal vegetables and herbs and other sources of nutrition hidden amongst them, they awoke one day to witness the arrival of a miracle—dandelions!

One of the older women had long taken to “…studying every blade and leaf growing in our small patch of earth, just in case it had any medicinal properties.” Considering the lowly dandelion, she “…had long known that there is hardly a more useful plant on earth.” This resourceful woman used every part of those “weeds” to enrich their lives, saying: “These plants are our lifeline.” (All references found on p. 262.)

...so many times tears of shame have welled up in my eyes as I pondered their perspective in the midst of their pain...God have mercy on me.

What potentially precious, even life-saving, “dandelions” are you whining about, digging up, or poisoning in your yard? Lord, give us eyes to see your provision of grace, whatever our circumstances.

I’m still processing this…and thinking, especially, of Romans 8:28: "We know that God makes all things work together for the good of those who love Him and are chosen to be a part of His plan."

[New Life Version (NLV) Copyright © 1969 by Christian Literature International]