Posts
Well, like I sais ... blogging has been slow -- I found this draft post...and just finished it up.
********
This past year I could not easily find purple candles for our Advent candleholders ... but I didn't stress about that, because it wasn't important. Instead, we had two tall white pillar candles on the ends, two shorter red pillar candles that smelled of apples and cinnamon next, and one tall white pillar candle with lovely poinsettias -- the red and green outlined in gold glitter -- in the middle.
We lit these candles one by one during Advent, the children taking turns. It was a lovely and peaceful part of an otherwise difficult time of illness, as two different strains of flu swept through the neighborhood. Some in the family got both kinds....
But this year we kept lighting the candles at each meal ... until all but the Jesus candle were consumed. I let it burn down a little and then installed a small tealight candleholder in the middle ... and we continue to light the Jesus candle at meals.
It is nice to acknowledge his presence at the table ... where two or three are gathered in his name ... may his presence be more and more real...
Sunday, June 24, 2012
The Abbess is Tweeting About cHesed
Having found writing on my tablet difficult, I don't seem to be posting much to my blog. So I decided that I would Tweet my way through cHesed ... because it turned my understanding of relationships upsidedown.
I have never known anyone to "get" cHesed just from reading ... but I am going to see if I can work through it in bites. Perhaps the Holy Spirit can work better a little at a time.
I also noticed, as I drafted out the first 50 Tweets, that cHesed is part of the long-overdue series on perichoresis ... they are related! Nice....
So, if you want to follow my cHesed Tweetinar, you will find me at @abisomeone. And I may come back here and flesh things out more. We'll see -- it's summer!
Be blessed....
I have never known anyone to "get" cHesed just from reading ... but I am going to see if I can work through it in bites. Perhaps the Holy Spirit can work better a little at a time.
I also noticed, as I drafted out the first 50 Tweets, that cHesed is part of the long-overdue series on perichoresis ... they are related! Nice....
So, if you want to follow my cHesed Tweetinar, you will find me at @abisomeone. And I may come back here and flesh things out more. We'll see -- it's summer!
Be blessed....
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Abi and Original Sin....
Back in October I shared some of the reading and pondering I was doing -- especially from Peck and Jacobsen. I have been reading through thoroughly cleaned cHesed Glasses....
Peck, you may remember, postulated that he believed "original sin" was the human tendency toward taking the easy way rather that the right way. He called that laziness. I think there is a great deal of merit in serious pondering of the meaning and implications along those lines. I have benefited from such pondering....
Jacobsen talks about the Fall being a result of the human tendency toward independence -- rejecting God's place as Creator and guide -- in order to be able to judge what is good or evil for themselves. Wayne's walk through the Bible in his project called The Jesus Lens expands on this idea. I recently finished listening to all three parts (over eight hours worth) at his website. It is a worthwhile endeavor -- each segment is around 20 minutes long. [You can listen, watch video, follow along with PowerPoint here for free, or you can order the entire series on DVD.]
* * * * * * *
Now, I have known for a very long time that I am something of a synthesizer. I take in lots of information from what seems to be very different spheres and find connections and patterns in them. I think my recent pondering has resulted in another synthesis ... of Peck and Jacobsen and Abi (and all that means).
Original Sin as laziness/independence are two sides of the same, er, coin. They both are ways to circumvent the work of relationship -- the extending of oneself for the best interest of the other. Let's take a closer look:
Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden were given freedom to eat anything -- except the fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. In their Innocence they walked with God and trusted in his provision for them. All was well ... for a while.
We don't know what interpersonal challenges may have been developing between Adam and Eve ... but we know that they were together when the Serpent challenged Eve's understanding of the edict. We know that Adam didn't move to support Eve or defend her from this attack. Maybe he was waiting to see if she dropped dead when she bit into the fruit ... we do not know. We can infer that there was some kind of struggle between them in the relationship ... and perhaps it revolved around a desire to be independent from each other a little? We don't know that, either.
Notice how little we know. This should be a clue for us: there is so much more to God's story than we can know or understand -- we just are not ABLE to understand it all. But that's okay ... if we are willing to trust that God knows it all and will make sure that everything turns out okay in the end. That does not mean that we will get what we want or that we will be healthy, wealthy or wise ... it just means that God's purposes in Creation will be realized. Trusting God is always the right thing to do. But, um, it is not especially easy because we do not want to depend on God. We want to be independent -- to do our own thing.
This is where the laziness comes in.
It seems that it is easier to do our own thing that to wait for God. He is SOOOO SLOW! Have you noticed? Impatience is a form of laziness ... and this is why children are so good at being impatient: they have no sense of past or future -- only NOW! Waiting is the most horrible awful thing to ask my kids to do.
But it gets worse! Not only do we have to wait for God ... we have to cooperate with other people!
Adam was there first -- he got to pick out all the animal names by himself. Easy peasey! But once Eve arrived on the scene, there was another opinion -- which required a "discussion." UGH! Then there is the listening and thinking and honoring and considering ... it is so much easier just to do what I want to do, isn't it? Really?
So, we get power struggles and other "irritations" that erode relationships. And all of a sudden we are not particularly looking out for the other's best interest. We're looking out for our self -- independently.
* * * * * * *
Yeah ... I think lazy independence looks like a pretty good take on the core human issue. We want what we want -- as easy as possible. The sad irony is that it is always more work to do it our way, in the end. It is always easier to do it right the first time than to fix it....
Which leads me to the other "shock" statement Wayne Jacobsen makes: humans are just not smart enough to know what is best. Pondering that has totally transformed the way I approach prayer. But that is another topic for another post at another time. Be patient! ;^)
There is a reason that one of the big recurring themes in the Scriptures is the concept of already/not yet. There are things that God is doing ... some that we can already see and know and experience. But there are many more that are not yet fully revealed. The fullness of time, as it were, has not yet come.
Relax. Take a deep breath. God does, in fact, know what They are doing. Watch and wait ... you never know when they're going to be ready to do something amazing ... and if you're waiting and watching patiently, you will get to be in on the deal. How sweet is that?
Ponder that yourself ... how does independence trip you up? How does relational laziness, particularly, interfere with your ability to trust God with your life ... or that of your spouse ... or your kids ... or your parents ... or your extended family ... or the Kingdom where Jesus Christ is Lord and King?
What do you think?
Be blessed....
Peck, you may remember, postulated that he believed "original sin" was the human tendency toward taking the easy way rather that the right way. He called that laziness. I think there is a great deal of merit in serious pondering of the meaning and implications along those lines. I have benefited from such pondering....
Jacobsen talks about the Fall being a result of the human tendency toward independence -- rejecting God's place as Creator and guide -- in order to be able to judge what is good or evil for themselves. Wayne's walk through the Bible in his project called The Jesus Lens expands on this idea. I recently finished listening to all three parts (over eight hours worth) at his website. It is a worthwhile endeavor -- each segment is around 20 minutes long. [You can listen, watch video, follow along with PowerPoint here for free, or you can order the entire series on DVD.]
* * * * * * *
Now, I have known for a very long time that I am something of a synthesizer. I take in lots of information from what seems to be very different spheres and find connections and patterns in them. I think my recent pondering has resulted in another synthesis ... of Peck and Jacobsen and Abi (and all that means).
Original Sin as laziness/independence are two sides of the same, er, coin. They both are ways to circumvent the work of relationship -- the extending of oneself for the best interest of the other. Let's take a closer look:
Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden were given freedom to eat anything -- except the fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. In their Innocence they walked with God and trusted in his provision for them. All was well ... for a while.
We don't know what interpersonal challenges may have been developing between Adam and Eve ... but we know that they were together when the Serpent challenged Eve's understanding of the edict. We know that Adam didn't move to support Eve or defend her from this attack. Maybe he was waiting to see if she dropped dead when she bit into the fruit ... we do not know. We can infer that there was some kind of struggle between them in the relationship ... and perhaps it revolved around a desire to be independent from each other a little? We don't know that, either.
Notice how little we know. This should be a clue for us: there is so much more to God's story than we can know or understand -- we just are not ABLE to understand it all. But that's okay ... if we are willing to trust that God knows it all and will make sure that everything turns out okay in the end. That does not mean that we will get what we want or that we will be healthy, wealthy or wise ... it just means that God's purposes in Creation will be realized. Trusting God is always the right thing to do. But, um, it is not especially easy because we do not want to depend on God. We want to be independent -- to do our own thing.
This is where the laziness comes in.
It seems that it is easier to do our own thing that to wait for God. He is SOOOO SLOW! Have you noticed? Impatience is a form of laziness ... and this is why children are so good at being impatient: they have no sense of past or future -- only NOW! Waiting is the most horrible awful thing to ask my kids to do.
But it gets worse! Not only do we have to wait for God ... we have to cooperate with other people!
Adam was there first -- he got to pick out all the animal names by himself. Easy peasey! But once Eve arrived on the scene, there was another opinion -- which required a "discussion." UGH! Then there is the listening and thinking and honoring and considering ... it is so much easier just to do what I want to do, isn't it? Really?
So, we get power struggles and other "irritations" that erode relationships. And all of a sudden we are not particularly looking out for the other's best interest. We're looking out for our self -- independently.
* * * * * * *
Yeah ... I think lazy independence looks like a pretty good take on the core human issue. We want what we want -- as easy as possible. The sad irony is that it is always more work to do it our way, in the end. It is always easier to do it right the first time than to fix it....
Which leads me to the other "shock" statement Wayne Jacobsen makes: humans are just not smart enough to know what is best. Pondering that has totally transformed the way I approach prayer. But that is another topic for another post at another time. Be patient! ;^)
There is a reason that one of the big recurring themes in the Scriptures is the concept of already/not yet. There are things that God is doing ... some that we can already see and know and experience. But there are many more that are not yet fully revealed. The fullness of time, as it were, has not yet come.
Relax. Take a deep breath. God does, in fact, know what They are doing. Watch and wait ... you never know when they're going to be ready to do something amazing ... and if you're waiting and watching patiently, you will get to be in on the deal. How sweet is that?
Ponder that yourself ... how does independence trip you up? How does relational laziness, particularly, interfere with your ability to trust God with your life ... or that of your spouse ... or your kids ... or your parents ... or your extended family ... or the Kingdom where Jesus Christ is Lord and King?
What do you think?
Be blessed....
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Abi's New Year Blessing....
This has been a challenging year ... following on the heels of a challenging decade ... but this wee purple abbess finds herself looking to the New Year with peace -- a kind of peace that has been growing in the corners and edges and other out-of-the way places ... the places where Father cHesed is always at work, looking out faithfully for my best interest.
This is my first post from my tablet ... may be my last, we'll see, eh? I have fully grown to appreciate my tablet, but it is not as good for creating documents as my computer. That's fine -- it makes itself useful in so many other ways.
I have been doing some important reading and writing and ruminating -- and I feel confident that it will find its way here, so stay tuned.
For those of you who have been catching up on previous posts, it has been gratifying to know that you have found things of interest in the archives.
May you grow in your awareness of Father's amazing love for you, right where you -- exactly as you are.
May you grow in your understanding of Jesus as God incarnate -- so that you will grow more into his likeness as you follow him on the Kingdom Way.
May you grow in your recognition of the voice of the Holy Spirit as she leads you in the Truth -- so that you may know that you are part of the Great Dance and hear the music and see the great many who dance to the same sweet song.
Be blessed.
This is my first post from my tablet ... may be my last, we'll see, eh? I have fully grown to appreciate my tablet, but it is not as good for creating documents as my computer. That's fine -- it makes itself useful in so many other ways.
I have been doing some important reading and writing and ruminating -- and I feel confident that it will find its way here, so stay tuned.
For those of you who have been catching up on previous posts, it has been gratifying to know that you have found things of interest in the archives.
May you grow in your awareness of Father's amazing love for you, right where you -- exactly as you are.
May you grow in your understanding of Jesus as God incarnate -- so that you will grow more into his likeness as you follow him on the Kingdom Way.
May you grow in your recognition of the voice of the Holy Spirit as she leads you in the Truth -- so that you may know that you are part of the Great Dance and hear the music and see the great many who dance to the same sweet song.
Be blessed.
Monday, October 24, 2011
Sometimes we change more than we think...and other ramblings!
As I have been re-reading Peck lately, I find that there are many (and I'm talking MANY) nuances to how I think that just weren't there when I first read these books 20+ years ago. I am certain this is true because I am not the person I was then. I have changed. I have grown. I have suffered great pain and loss. I have had three sons. I have been ordained, entered the pastorate, and left the institutionalized "church" experience.
Yeah, I'm in a completely different place than I was back in the 80s. It is good to look again at those works that were important transition books in periods of intense growth ... especially when entering that process again!
Which takes me back to a comment I made on the Facebook group "Into the Wardrobe" concerning C.S. Lewis ... someone was wishing that he had written the "Left Behind" series ... which went lots of interesting places full of interesting assumptions all around. Anyway, someone brought up the fact that Lewis was not a theologian. And there is where I jumped into the fray:
I read Lewis' Mere Christianity when I was 19 years old. It was the most serious reading/thinking I had ever had to do ... and I read it again 20 years later ... when I was in a totally different frame of mind. Some of the things I agreed with at 19 were not going down as well when I was 39.... I think that if Lewis has gone back and done a revisit to his Mere Christianity after his amazing experiences with Joy, there were many things he would have seen from a very different perspective. A Grief Observed is really the only window we have into that perspective.
So ... back to Peck ... which I read for the first time when I was in my 30s ... and am now reading again in my 50s! There were so many important concepts I learned from him that have been helpful over the years. I am finding, again, that there is a difference when we are learning something because we think we need to learn it -- and understanding exactly why we need to know something.
I first experienced that when I returned to college for my sophomore year, um, 17 years after my freshman year. Yeah ... interesting story, that one. Anyway, I was taking all the normal college classes, living in the dorms with the 18-21 year old students ... but I was now 35. I understood why I was learning what was being taught because I had been out there working and living and had ready application for all of it. This is why, of course, professors often love their adult students.... ;^)
I am, however, a little overwhelmed with reading Peck because there is so much that I truly wish I had understood 35 years ago. Things that are foundational to life, but didn't turn up on my radar when I was growing up in the 70s.
And so, just as this abbess started out describing "reverse mentoring" in her chapter in Voices of the Virtual World, it seems she is there again ... perpetually learning what NOT to do or say or think or be based on trying not to follow poor examples, rather that having been mentored well. What a sad commentary....
There is nothing more important than being a positive mentor in the life of another. It is never too late ... but it is a lot harder to do later (although there is much more experiential "mulch" out of which beautiful things may grow!).
Well, this was quite a ramble, eh?
Be blessed wherever you are in your journey. May you see those Father is bringing to breathe love and freedom and fullness into your life ... and be present in the lives Father brings across your path, as well.
Abi
Yeah, I'm in a completely different place than I was back in the 80s. It is good to look again at those works that were important transition books in periods of intense growth ... especially when entering that process again!
Which takes me back to a comment I made on the Facebook group "Into the Wardrobe" concerning C.S. Lewis ... someone was wishing that he had written the "Left Behind" series ... which went lots of interesting places full of interesting assumptions all around. Anyway, someone brought up the fact that Lewis was not a theologian. And there is where I jumped into the fray:
Interesting thread ... it is an important note that Lewis was NOT a theologian and that he was using his incredible logic and literary depth to help clarify the common ground of all who name Christ as Lord. After he married Joy -- and especially after he wrote A Grief Observed -- i think a number of things that were once logical to a confirmed batchelor may have changed. I am sorry that we do not have more writing from his last days -- but grateful for what we have :-)
I read Lewis' Mere Christianity when I was 19 years old. It was the most serious reading/thinking I had ever had to do ... and I read it again 20 years later ... when I was in a totally different frame of mind. Some of the things I agreed with at 19 were not going down as well when I was 39.... I think that if Lewis has gone back and done a revisit to his Mere Christianity after his amazing experiences with Joy, there were many things he would have seen from a very different perspective. A Grief Observed is really the only window we have into that perspective.
So ... back to Peck ... which I read for the first time when I was in my 30s ... and am now reading again in my 50s! There were so many important concepts I learned from him that have been helpful over the years. I am finding, again, that there is a difference when we are learning something because we think we need to learn it -- and understanding exactly why we need to know something.
I first experienced that when I returned to college for my sophomore year, um, 17 years after my freshman year. Yeah ... interesting story, that one. Anyway, I was taking all the normal college classes, living in the dorms with the 18-21 year old students ... but I was now 35. I understood why I was learning what was being taught because I had been out there working and living and had ready application for all of it. This is why, of course, professors often love their adult students.... ;^)
I am, however, a little overwhelmed with reading Peck because there is so much that I truly wish I had understood 35 years ago. Things that are foundational to life, but didn't turn up on my radar when I was growing up in the 70s.
And so, just as this abbess started out describing "reverse mentoring" in her chapter in Voices of the Virtual World, it seems she is there again ... perpetually learning what NOT to do or say or think or be based on trying not to follow poor examples, rather that having been mentored well. What a sad commentary....
There is nothing more important than being a positive mentor in the life of another. It is never too late ... but it is a lot harder to do later (although there is much more experiential "mulch" out of which beautiful things may grow!).
Well, this was quite a ramble, eh?
Be blessed wherever you are in your journey. May you see those Father is bringing to breathe love and freedom and fullness into your life ... and be present in the lives Father brings across your path, as well.
Abi
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Abi's Fourth Blogiversary
Four years ago, this wee purple abbess began sharing her story in this blog. It has been an important thing to do ... and I believe I will continue to do it. The changes that have transpired in my life over these past four years are, well, mind-blowing. Many changes have made their way into posts ... much more has not. The Mystery is profound ... and sometimes the only proper response is silence and contemplation.
Many things that I thought I would write about have not yet come to pass. But I believe that, in Father's good time, they will.
I am reading more than I expected -- but not what I expected. I am doing personal journaling more consistently in these past four years than ever before ... words of joy and pain, life and death, clarity and confusion, peace and turmoil, order and chaos ... that are only between my Father and me. Change is difficult. Transformation is an intentional dying so that the new life is free from the old forms.
To quote Peck: "Life is difficult."
Why do I sometimes still grieve for those old, dying forms? I guess because I had grown accustomed to them and they were comfortable and predictable. Because sometimes I am lazy ... and unwilling to do the work necessary to extend myself for the other. My cHesed glasses need cleaning. I need to continue to trust Father, even (especially?) when it is dark.
For those of you who have journeyed with me during this time, thank you. Your companionship has been more important than you can possibly imagine. I am grateful for the light you have shed on my path ... and glad if I have been able to shed any light (probably in shades of purple) on yours.
May you be blessed according to your need as you follow according to your readiness. Father is both able to supply all your needs and lead you safely and effectively wherever you are on the journey....
Abi
Many things that I thought I would write about have not yet come to pass. But I believe that, in Father's good time, they will.
I am reading more than I expected -- but not what I expected. I am doing personal journaling more consistently in these past four years than ever before ... words of joy and pain, life and death, clarity and confusion, peace and turmoil, order and chaos ... that are only between my Father and me. Change is difficult. Transformation is an intentional dying so that the new life is free from the old forms.
To quote Peck: "Life is difficult."
Why do I sometimes still grieve for those old, dying forms? I guess because I had grown accustomed to them and they were comfortable and predictable. Because sometimes I am lazy ... and unwilling to do the work necessary to extend myself for the other. My cHesed glasses need cleaning. I need to continue to trust Father, even (especially?) when it is dark.
For those of you who have journeyed with me during this time, thank you. Your companionship has been more important than you can possibly imagine. I am grateful for the light you have shed on my path ... and glad if I have been able to shed any light (probably in shades of purple) on yours.
May you be blessed according to your need as you follow according to your readiness. Father is both able to supply all your needs and lead you safely and effectively wherever you are on the journey....
Abi
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Abi and "The Church"
Well, as seems to be consistently the case, I know it is time to read something when I actually am able to read it. That happened this week as I finally read So You Don't Want to Go to Church Anymore, by Jake Colesen.
Friends of Abi will remember that I have been processing the impact of a weekend Wayne Jacobsen spent with our Short Yellow Bus missional group over two years ago. As a result of that event, I first read Wayne's He Loves Me, which was a good reinforcement for what I heard in person. I have since read it maybe three times. It takes a very long time to make new maps of territory you have lived with for your whole life....
It took be a little longer to read his Authentic Relationships, because I had spent so much energy on authentic EVERYTHING over the past 12 years. But I found there were ideas that had changed in subtle ways, along with so many other things this Virtual Abbess has pondered the past four years.
Before I went on my "stimulus fast" for my tired brain, I was listening to Wayne's Transitions podcasts. More reinforcement for what I had read and heard.
So why did it take so long to get around to reading the Jake Colesen story? I am trusting Father, as I strive to live more in Kairos time, that it was finally the right time.
It certainly was.
Jake story covers about four years ... hmmm, it will be four years since I started blogging next week. It is a story that speaks to so much of my story, it is quite uncanny. But the best part -- and the reason I think it was finally time -- was realizing that I am finally moving into that reconstruction stage. Where living loved is getting closer to life than thought. Where living free is on the rise ... and living full is on the horizon, over the next hill.
Similarities:
* * * * * * *
Freedom ... lots of talk about it these days. So I was interested to run across a pamphlet (sorting and consolidating books) I've had for some 30 years, by my ministry mentor. And his thoughts about freedom (that it is so often sacrificed for security -- not just in society, but in the Church) took me to some other thoughts I had been sharing here and at Jesus Creed about M. Scott Peck's ideas about laziness....
I have been wondering if it is time to read that section of The Road Less Traveled again. I think it might be. Then I will have more to say....
In the meantime I am learning to lean into Father's love for me ... to embrace the challenge to live free from condemnation and false security ... so that I may live full -- of life in the Spirit. As I experience life in the Church, I am content to let Father take care of the on which journey others are traveling. Father knows where each of us are and meets us there. Whew ... I don't have to be the church police any more!
Be blessed on your journey.
Abi
It took be a little longer to read his Authentic Relationships, because I had spent so much energy on authentic EVERYTHING over the past 12 years. But I found there were ideas that had changed in subtle ways, along with so many other things this Virtual Abbess has pondered the past four years.
Before I went on my "stimulus fast" for my tired brain, I was listening to Wayne's Transitions podcasts. More reinforcement for what I had read and heard.
So why did it take so long to get around to reading the Jake Colesen story? I am trusting Father, as I strive to live more in Kairos time, that it was finally the right time.
It certainly was.
Jake story covers about four years ... hmmm, it will be four years since I started blogging next week. It is a story that speaks to so much of my story, it is quite uncanny. But the best part -- and the reason I think it was finally time -- was realizing that I am finally moving into that reconstruction stage. Where living loved is getting closer to life than thought. Where living free is on the rise ... and living full is on the horizon, over the next hill.
Similarities:
- Jake moved from one career to his dream of paid pastoral ministry -- only to find that there are lots of things that are just not right in the way the church-as-institution plays out. My move from organizational management -- and my long-time sense that church-as-business was not always very holy -- brought up some interesting, um, challenges as my dream of pastoral ministry came true. I handled some better than others...and, with Dickens, I would realize that -- "It was the best of times; it was the worse of times."
- Jake tried to incorporate some of the new things he was learning ... with some fairly disastrous results. Can you can "misunderstood assumptions"?
- Jake was devastated by the poor way "crises" were handled by the leadership ... and lived many years with lots of people have a totally wrong ideas of why he left -- and why he wasn't even going to church somewhere else.
- It seemed to get worse before it got better ... with lots of "huh" times, trying to figure out what Father was up to.
- It usually comes down to people not knowing what Jesus is really like. They've heard lots about him, but it wasn't translating into a dynamic, living, relationship. The culture of institution falls far short of the experience of journeying with Jesus -- and those who cross your path.
* * * * * * *
Freedom ... lots of talk about it these days. So I was interested to run across a pamphlet (sorting and consolidating books) I've had for some 30 years, by my ministry mentor. And his thoughts about freedom (that it is so often sacrificed for security -- not just in society, but in the Church) took me to some other thoughts I had been sharing here and at Jesus Creed about M. Scott Peck's ideas about laziness....
I have been wondering if it is time to read that section of The Road Less Traveled again. I think it might be. Then I will have more to say....
In the meantime I am learning to lean into Father's love for me ... to embrace the challenge to live free from condemnation and false security ... so that I may live full -- of life in the Spirit. As I experience life in the Church, I am content to let Father take care of the on which journey others are traveling. Father knows where each of us are and meets us there. Whew ... I don't have to be the church police any more!
Be blessed on your journey.
Abi
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