...A Quiet 2nd Blogiversarous

It has been a very long summer and this wee purple abbess has been very, very busy tending to her home and family. It has been good to do this, after being so very limited these past nine years. I have set myself a deadline of Christmas to have gone through and made each room "orderly" ... not to be confused with "pristine" ... and I am happy to say that I am well on my way.

In addition to bring order to the physical house, I am endeavoring to bring some much-needed order to the character development process with my three growing boys. It is wonderful to see the progress ... it really is exhausting work (no wonder I have been so hit and miss all these purple years).

I am hoping to gain a sense of balance between all the areas in which I have the opportunity to exert influence ... and am hopeful that Papa will grant me both the grace and the wisdom to accomplish that which is necessary.

It is almost impossible to comprehend the things I have done these past two years following the Seabeck conference. But they have all brought me to this day, and I am grateful to be where I am.

Mostly, I am grateful to have come across Wayne Jacobsen and learned a bit about what it means to live loved. I am hopeful that I will be able to share more of what that means in my third year of blogging ... and I will have to schedule some time for that processing.

In the mean time, I have much to do concerning the practice of living loved. It is a kind of daily office for me, but one much different than I experienced at Seabeck....

Before living cHesed, before living the Jesus Creed, before living Missional, before living CovenantClusters ... there must be a true and deep and pervasive sense of living loved by Papa -- just as I am right now ... as I am actively being perceived by The Perceiver who holds all things together.

I do not know how this primary reality has gotten lost ... and I have learned, instead, to live condemned, disappointing, unworthy ... unable to hold on to his love long enough for me to be filled -- and so unable to overflow onto the dry and thirsty land all around.

Living loved seems, for me, to take the form of being more quiet. And that means less talking in general and more listening ... not necessarily to the many I've been listening to in the past, but to the still small voice of the one who completely and utterly loves me.

Leaning into the reality of Papa's love is the foundation for everything else. It is the provision for all needs. It is the power for all actions. Without it there can be no true cHesed for others ... and there can be no true Good News:

For God so loved the world that he sent his one and only son -- so that those who believe in him might have eternal life; for God didn't send his son into the world to condemn it, but that the world, through him, might be saved. (John 3:16-17)

Blessings to those of you who have been Abi's friend over these two years ... she is counting on your prayers as she continues to walk with Papa (and Jesus and Sarayu, of course) into the unknown. It will all work out ... I still don't know how ... it is the Divine Mystery, indeed.

The Fields Are Ripe For Harvesting...

This wee abbess is very happy to again be involved in the wonderful collaborative effort knows as The Wikiklesia Project! Please do take a moment to look at the page for Volume Two and see what we're up to with this --

• See Cynthia La Grou's article in the July edition of the Next-Wave Ezine

• Read the first chapter post by Felicity Dale over at Missional Tribe

Join us as we consider the impact of women in the the Kingdom Fields!

On Being Grounded....

I have been spending a lot of time journaling in a couple of notebooks ... and I find that things I think I have blogged about, um, I actually haven't. So, to remedy that, I will be going through those notebooks and bringing out some of the things that continue to resonate.

One that I will get to soon is my personal "ah ha" moment about "living water" and just what it is. But before I do that, I want to talk about feet and holy ground and grounding and perichoresis. No, really, it's must easier to understand than it is to explain. Really.

For those of you who know me better, you will know that I have been learning a lot about resonant frequencies and their importance to health over the past 12 years or so. And while there is a lot of nonsense written, there are some gems to be found by those willing to dig and sift diligently.

While some have chosen to discredit theories of "electromagnetic/electrostatic pollution" over the years, the science is beginning to be collected about these subtle, invisible fields and their effects on life forms (human, plant, animal).

Quick disclaimer break: I am so not a scientist, but I do have significant doses of common sense and intuition and have read some important books about this. You will have to go and do your own study without being unduly prejudiced by the nay-sayers. Take a look at this interesting article for more pondering about this.

Okay, here's the bottom line for this meandering post: the best way for humans to discharge their accumulation of electrostatic charges is to "ground" themselves by walking barefoot on the, um, ground -- grass, sand and dirt are the best. Going barefoot also allows the body's diverse neurological systems (especially the brain and digestive tract) to become better entrained to the earth's resonant frequency -- which is tuned for relaxation and harmony. Which means, of course, that wearing shoes interferes with this connection.

All of this has come into focus for me as I pondered the wonders of walking on the beach and standing in the surf and allowing my feet to be buried in the sand ... and how much better my feet and ankles have felt as a result. When I mentioned this to my chiropractor, she said that I had been experiencing the ultimate in "grounding" therapy.

So, today I was out working in my garden ... and decided to bury my toes in the pile of sand that was left over from tilling sand into our clay/soil in preparation for planting. And as I was wiggling my toes and settling my feet into the sand, this thought popped into my head. "This is why God required Moses to take off his shoes by the burning bush -- God did not want there to be any interference from his connection with Moses. He wanted Moses to be fully grounded and entrained to God's resonance." There was nothing "unholy" about Moses' sandals that required that they be removed. It was God inviting Moses into a special relationship -- one that turned into an amazing "friendship" -- of Moses being called the friend of God, who talked with him "face to face".

I imagine that God had a similar relationship early on in the Garden with Adam and Eve -- walking in the garden together in the cool of the evening....

Being barefoot is the quintessential state of being comfortable, isn't it? I love the thought that our loving Father wants us to walk with him in such a way that we are able to "ground" the "static" we collect all around us and be entrained to the calming resonance of this wonderful earth he created as our home.

But more than being physically barefoot, Father invites us to dance with him and Jesus and the Holy Spirit -- a dance free of shoes that hurt our spiritual feet ... that desensitize them from being stepped on or stepping on another ... that make it easier to trip or twist an ankle ... that even take over the focus with brands and colors and styles of shoes ... that track in dirt or mar the floor ... that make such a clunking and clinking racket.

So I'm going to go to the store and buy a couple of bags of "sandbox sand" and pour it into the wading pool on our deck ... and I'm going to take off my shoes and stand in the water and let my feet sink into the sand. I'm also going to think about ways I can take my spiritual shoes off so that I can dance more freely and more in tune with the music of the Great Dance.

Join me?

Time Travel....

While sitting on the volcanic rocks down the beach from our "Turtle House" this morning, I was basking in the sun--and The Son--and this is what occurred to me as I was attempting to distill down some of what I've been processing about "living loved" from Wayne Jacobson's book "He Loves Me"...

My days may be measured in Chronos time...but I choose to live them in Kairos time.

In the days to come, I will be unpacking more. In the meantime....

Be blessed.

Abi on the fly...Part 2

Yeah, well I don't know how I expected to get anything done in two days between trips....

The Abbess is processing some interesting experiences from the trip to Texas and is gearing up for some more interesting experiences in Hawaii, Lord willing. She is joining her four sisters on the North Shore of Oahu for a week of no responsibilities. Bring it on!

We are gathering to celebrate all our birthdays ... in honor of my oldest sister's 60th birthday. Her's is the first one of the year, in June. Followed by mine (today) and Amy's (who would have been 56 on Friday, but has now graduated to eternity -- where they probably don't track birthdays in years anymore). Then there's Becky's in August and Carol's in September and Wendy's in November. I'm not sure whether we're going to celebrate one each day -- or all of them all seven days! ;^)

I have, however, been processing some very interesting things about living loved of late ... and they are profoundly impacting all of my relationships. I expect that this time with the sisters will be ... well, perhaps I will be content to live in the expectancy that God will be there with us and do amazing things in and among us. I am fortunate to have a wonderful family.

But before I fly off tomorrow, I have to get my driver's license renewed ... and get laundry done ... maybe squeeze in some lab work ... and get my youngest son packed for his first Cub Scout camp this weekend. There truly is never a dull moment here!

If it occurs to any of you, do keep my family in your prayers. Husband's back is on the mend, but this is a lot of time with Wife/Mom gone.... And all my lovely organic lettuce and spinach in my garden is not getting made into green smoothies ... sigh :^( I hope someone else eats them ... they're so pretty!)

Be blessed!

Abi on the fly....

Well, it has been a very eventful couple of weeks since my last post:

• The kids have gotten out of school (it seems more like a month)
• The garden has been growing (and I haven't been as good at weeding as I'd like)
• My precious husband hurt his back and has been on bed rest
• We got a new bed (a knock-off of the Sleep Number type) -- which I had ordered BEFORE the back injury, and it arrived three days after. Very timely, indeed....
  
• Our SYB small group had a little mini-retreat with Wayne Jacobsen with BIG implications for this Abbess!
• My precious brother lost his wife to the brain cancer they have battled these past 10 months just last night....

So, it's been challenging--but God is more than faithful. I'll be out of the loop until I return from the memorial service ... but I will have AMAZING things to share, so stay tuned.

Be blessed....

Abi and Anger....

Anger continues to be something that I find is not well processed -- in the world, generally, and by Christ-followers, specifically. I struggle with it because I grew up believing that I was not allowed to be angry about things that I could not control.

I have come to understand, over the past 25 years, that anger is an emotion. And, as an emotion, it is morally neutral. We are angry because we are having an emotional response to something we have experienced. This is just the way we have been wired. It provides us with the opportunity to act out cHesed by responding in such a way as for the best interest of "the other" to be served.

Exactly who do I mean by "the other"?

Well, sometimes, the other is God. But more often than not, the other is my neighbor -- whether that be a brother or sister in Christ or any human in close proximity to me. Someone whom I intersect with in an experience that was not just, not loving or kind, not humble -- pretty much the opposite of Micah 6:8!

But just like all the other emotions, we are called to be restrained in our response -- lest our reaction cause us to sin -- to break covenant -- against God or Others.

I was smacked pretty hard with the whole restraint thing lately. I talk a good story about restraint being a foundational aspect of God's character. I'm just so very thankful that They are so much better at doing it than I am!

So far to go on this path....

I have, however, begun the journey from the dark side of love back to the light. How does the saying go? The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step?

One of the challenges of living the Purple Martyrdom is the ever-tempting thought that suffering or pain or sickness or frustration or exhaustion can ever excuse a response to anger that breaks covenant. It can help to explain it ... but not excuse. Sorry.

Anger that leads to sin can only be confessed, repented of, asked forgiveness for, reconciled and restored ... and that is a relational challenge that too often eludes many of us ... or, at least, this wee purple abbess.

So, I've been reading a book that is challenging me to rethink my situation. Or, rather, really think it through. For those of you who have been with me for a while, you will know how important the books on the Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman have been. Well this book on anger is one he has written to answer the many questions he's received over the years about how to handle it in a healthy way. (It is basically an updated version of the previous book.)

As with all issues of thinking clearly, this book requires that we take a look at the terms and the assumptions and ponder the difference between good and bad anger before we even get down to how to manage a proper response. Indeed, I really like this definition on page 23:

God's purpose in human anger ... is ... to motivate us to take positive action when we encounter injustice.

Abi will, consequently, be processing here what she is, er, processing about anger as she reads this book and allows the Holy Spirit to transform her broken, purple, angry heart into one that keeps -- rather than breaks -- covenant.

...and purple glasses will be required for reading, of course!

Shalom....