- The Helicopters, who are always hovering around the children, ready to swoop in and rescue them from their poor choices. (This has morphed into the Attack version -- you know the one who attacks anyone who tried to hold their children accountable for their behavior and choices.) They are generally recognized by the smothering style of love -- a love that enslaves their children to them and stunts their growth toward maturity. They are most often mothers, but there are some helicopter fathers out there, too.
- The Drill Sergeants, who are always ordering their children around, telling them what to do in every circumstance -- trying to prevent them from making poor choices. They are generally recognized by their "tough love" style and belief that their kids won't learn to make good choices without their "help" and because everything is about control and order...no chaos allowed. Logic reigns. They are most often fathers, but there are some drill sergeant mothers out there, too.
- The Helicopter Parents won't allow their children to fail. And if not allowed to fail, there is no learning from mistakes. There is no chance for necessity to become the mother of invention. There is no learning to persevere and overcome adversity on the road to independence and later interdependence because of achievement. There is, in its place, dependency and a growing sense of entitlement. Sometimes there is a disregard for the rule of law and taking matters into their own hands. These parents not only feel the pain of their children, it becomes their own pain. They are susceptible to the "if you love me, you will..." line. They are most often what we call Liberals, but there are Conservatives Helicopter Parents out there.
- The Drill Sergeant Parents are so focused on order and the rule of law that they attempt to control behavior -- even attempting to legislate morality -- so that the family image in the community is preserved and the "dirty laundry" reality is never acknowledged, much less cleaned up. They may be successful in getting their kids to not break the rules, but the loopholes kill them ... and all too often the rebellion is simmering under the surface. These parents often have compliant kids who check out from the family community in order to find community that accepts them as they are and allows them to assert their individuality. Their children frequently accuse them of being "mean" and "you don't understand me". They are most often what we call Conservatives, but there are Liberal Drill Sergeant Parents out there.
- There is another minor sub-type: The Laissez Faire Parent -- the ones who think that children can raise themselves without any interference or guidance. Live and let live. They are found in both Liberals and Conservatives, although they look very different in each. There are probably a good deal of them in the Libertarian camp.
So, what would The Consultant look like in Politics? If would have to get to work within each and every branch of politics, first of all. This is the only way to get out of the current gridlock. There is truth in each position. We have to find the truth in each story in order to find the way through the challenges ahead of us as these United States of America!
The "children" of America have to do a lot of growing up. Seriously. And our leaders need to help us mature toward healthy independence/interdependence instead of continuing to foster immaturity and dependence.
- Each person is loved by God -- regardless of their circumstances or choices. They deserve our love and respect and compassion and clear thinking and logic in the midst of their story.
- There is no excuse for employing the language of hate and destruction and fear and power and coersion and greed and envy. We have to choose the difficult task of learning to think deeply and then speak the truth -- the whole truth and nothing but the truth. "Spin" and "straw men" have to stop. The ends do not justify the means. "What you win them with is what you win them to" is every bit as true here as it is in spreading the Good News of the Kingdom of God!
- There is no Free Lunch. Somebody has to pay for it. Remember not to kill the goose that lays the golden egg...and other pithy saying about teaching someone to fish, etc.
- Learn the difference between a need and a want. Seriously. I learned this during my two years in Northern Thailand ... when I learned that hot water was a want. Even running water was a want. I challenge you to sit down and make a list of true needs and put it up against the what you have.
- In order to ensure that our needs are met, we have to learn to live within our means. Everyone, please get this. Budgets are challenging but they ARE necessary. We need to learn how to say and hear "No, we can't affort that choice at this time." Greed and envy come from confusing need and want. They lead down a dark path. Do not go there. And acknowledge that debt is not our friend....
- Cheerful generosity is the rule of the New Covenant instituted by Jesus Christ. There is no "tithe tax" any more (lots of churches don't realize that yet) because we are to give according to our blessings. Yet, there is also no "coerced generosity" either -- we are to give as we feel led, not taxed because we have something that can be taxed. The whole idea of what is "fair" really needs to be worked over something good.
Be blessed, friends -- Papa is especially fond of you, and his cHesed is faithful.